Before anyone calls me lazy, I've been working “hard” my whole life. I got 99th percentile on the SAT, straight A's in high school + college, graduated summa cum laude and was top 10% of my class. I also did 2 full-time internships while I was a college student.
I work a corporate tech job right now and absolute hate it. My degree was in a related field and I honestly have no interest in tech but it was too late to change my degree and I didn't know what else to do. I got zero training at work, everyone works 12+ hours a day, everything is remote and I feel so depressed and like I'm wasting my life.
My job is making me do certifications in addition to working full-time so my weekends are spent studying as well and I just cannot retain the information because I'm so uninterested. I have zero motivation left and just hope I somehow pass away in my sleep every night.
I have thoughts of wanting to end it all. I dread logging into work everyday and I have no idea wtf I'm doing. Having to work back to back to back everyday is just way too much. I genuinely just do not want to have a job anymore. I am so tired of working hard and just do not see the point anymore.
I wish there was a way for work not to be the main stressor in my life and to just log in, know wtf I'm doing, do it, and log off. That's it. I want to do a good job and just have work be work, but in corporate america this is not possible because of the pressure, expectations, work-load, and everyone making work their whole fucking life. I don't mind a boring job at this point as long as its easy, low-stress, and pays enough for me to live.
If anyone has any advice please let me know. I'm in therapy but man I am struggling. I live at home and can live at home as long as I want. I'm the youngest daughter and in my culture it's normal to stay at home until marriage. I have no debt and have around 40k in savings.
Are there any jobs that are better? Please any help I'd appreciate I'm so desperate.