Despite my protests my boss scheduled me to work for 10 days in a row at that soul crushing retail job in a busy touristy area during one of the busiest seasons. I told him that I couldn't handle that many days but he said there was nothing he could do. there absolutely was but he didn't wanna do anything about it.
I tried powering through it but each day I grew more and more fatigued. Day number 9 was at my breaking point. I broke down crying and disossiated heavily. I had to leave early for my mental health. I also called off work on the 10th day. I don't even care that it's friday. I was at my limit by day 8 and I felt like I was getting no support. One of my leads, when I told him about the schedule blatently told me, that if I call out then that's letting everyone down. just a total dismissal of my humanity.
I was pressured for all sides to keep my avaliability open every day. During the week because there's none else who can do it and during the weekend because I'm one of the few good people they have that can handle the crowds. but when I was first hired I felt like I couldn't set up a boundry because they wouldn't give me enought hours other wise.
It also sucks that I too often feel like a pariah there. I feel like they think I'm crazy or unhinged and that I'm not a hard worker for not just powering through it all. I'm just there to get my work done so I can pay my rent. I'm not looking to make this soul sucking job into a career.
I'm so tired