Hi all,
I don't know what else to do. I'm about to not pass my probation at work so this is all a moot point. Maybe I just need some reassurance.
2022 was my personal devil year. A bad breakup with my ex-fiancee, getting bought out of my cute little first flat, realising I might never have a family of my own. Hes with someone new and I still miss the relationship and my old life.
I took a new job in September because my old job didn't pay enough to thrive in London city in the UK on my own. And I have been drowning in it. It started off well, but it's very fast paced, and their expectations were high. I didn't know how to do a lot of what they wanted, but it's one of those “find a problem and solve it / make a suggestion” type jobs. Some processes in place, but lots of working things out. I didn't overrepresent my skills on my application, but I think they're disappointed in my level of skill at various aspects of the role.
Frankly, this has caused me to shut down. I procrastinate all day, and then work all nights and weekends to make it up. My work is sloppy. I'm exhausted mentally. I say no to friends. I'm late to events. My output at work is still crap. I actually pulled an all nighter a couple weeks ago.
I'm going to resign before I am pushed. I want a good reference. I have a bit of money in savings from the sale of the flat though I'm so so scared that I'm just getting farther away from owning property by eating into my savings. But I'm not functioning. I need to rest, take walks, read books, work out what I want my career path to look like, and take it from there. I have a part time job waitressing, so I'll try to up the hours there a bit, and maybe temp some too.
Can someone reassure me? Or tell me a better plan? I have a scary meeting dropped in my diary for Thursday, and I kind of just want to do this tomorrow.