Hi for context I’m Gen Z. I’m not diagnosed with anything, but I do know I am experiencing burnout. But those who do not know that will think I am lazy. And maybe I am.
I’m in a senior college and i have one more semester left. I started in 2020, leaving in 2023. I was on a full-ride scholarship the whole time. I did dance when it was the season and I work part-time. I also try to find time to go to the gym. Before college in high school, I was on the honor roll each quarter. I was on the dance team, PTK, and taking early college classes after having 6 hours of regular classes (I also took AP classes). I started working part time my senior year of HS (12 hours). I was working hard even before i reached high school. From inter to high school, my mom was extremely tough on me about grades and appearances and it took a toll on my self esteem.
My self esteem is way better now but I just can’t help but feel like I’m allergic to work. And it’s so embarrassing because I’m only working 20 hours (i work for my campus and that’s how much we’re allowed during the semester). I’m on a scholar’s committee and I know another person there with the same scholarship that’s doing school and three jobs, and I just feel pathetic because I can’t even handle working 20 hours in a chill office environment. I call out twice each month. Sometimes more. Sometimes due to personal issues, sickness, or mental health days.
I might be lazy. I just don’t want to work. And I’m frustrated bc ppl will tell me “just marry rich”. I don’t want to rely on someone else to take care of me financially in fear of financial abuse. Rich SOs don’t always financially abuse their not so wealthy spouse but I just can’t risk it. I want to be able to financially support myself in the future but how??? When I can’t even handle 20 hours of work?
Does anyone else feel like this? Is something wrong with me? Is this burnout? Am i depressed? Please i need advice. And please do not be rude i am very sensitive.