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Antiwork

In the Beginning Was the PLAN

In the beginning, there was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance. And darkness fell upon the face of the Workers. And they spoke among themselves, saying, “It is a crock of shit, and itstinks.” And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, “It is a pail ofdung, and we can't live with the smell”. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, “It is a container ofexcrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.” And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel offertilizer, and none may abide its strength.” And the Board of Directors spoke among themselves, Saying to one another, “Itcontains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.” And the Board of Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, “Itpromotes growth,…


In the beginning, there was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness fell upon the face of the Workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, “It is a crock of shit, and itstinks.”

And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, “It is a pail ofdung, and we can't live with the smell”.

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, “It is a container ofexcrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel offertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

And the Board of Directors spoke among themselves, Saying to one another, “Itcontains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.”

And the Board of Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, “Itpromotes growth, and it is very powerful.”

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, “This newplan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with verypowerful effects.”

And the President talked to the CEO looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became Policy.

And this is how shit happens…

Version II (IT work place)

In the beginning was the plan, and then the specification;

And the plan was without form, and the specification was void.

And darkness was on the faces of the implementers thereof;

And they spake unto their leader, saying:

“It is a crock of crap, and smells as of a sewer.”

And the leader took pity on them, and spoke to the project leader:

“It is a bucket of excrement, and none may abide the odor thereof.”

And the project leader spake unto his section head, saying:

“It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide it.”

The section head then hurried to his department manager, and informed him thus:

“It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

The department manager carried these words to his general manager, and spoke unto him saying:

“It containeth that which aideth the growth of plants, and it is very strong.”

And so it was that the general manager rejoiced and delivered the good news unto the Vice President:

“It promoteth growth, and it is very powerful.”

The Vice President rushed to the President's side, and joyously exclaimed:

“This powerful new software product and will promote the growth of the company!”

And the President looked upon the product,

and saw that it was very good.

And this is how shit happens

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