Let me first say I had somewhat mild depression before starting work full-time for reasons out of my control. It def wasn’t bad at all though and much of it had to do with my current situation then and severe anxiety. I then started working my first job out of college a year ago and holy sh*t.
I’m currently on my lunch break but am laying on my couch because I am in literal pain from the depression. Like my body actually hurts. Every morning I wake up at 4am now for some reason and feel so exhausted and in pain. I really didn’t think depression could get this bad. I’m really making an effort (as much as I can given my state) to improve this, and I’ve realized that the large majority of everything that is making me depressed is the work. Not my specific job. Not my boss. Not my company. Literal all day every day work. I feel like my life isn’t mine anymore. I also feel like there’s something wrong with me because either 1. Everyone is depressed and somehow faking it. Or 2. People just somehow live like this. Don’t know how.
I’ve trying possibly starting a side gig or something like that but have no motivation or energy to work on it. I have absolutely no idea what to do, any advice would be appreciated.