I can’t quit right now. I think everyone is going to say that so please give other advice. I’m trying find out what to do for myself or with them. I have been working at a job for the last 3 years that has made me into a crazy person. I always was crazy but I’ve been pushed over the edge, and in a way was good for me. I’m way too trusting, and nice for these people. I can’t say too much because it’s so bad and specific that is someone saw this they’d know it was me and it would cause me even more bullshit.
I have been sexually harassed to a degree that is unthinkable. I really wish I could say how. I’ve been humiliated, made fun of, lied on, and other stuff. I can’t leave now for a specific reason but also because so many people would be happy if I left I am like hell no. My pride is keeping there because I refuse to leave because I’m embarrassed, humiliated, bullied, and I’m constantly getting gas lit that I’m making it up in my head, and paranoid. I know in some cases I’m right and it makes me feel worse. People tell me weird shit about what my bosses say about me and then pretend like I’m trippin and tell the bosses I’m paranoid like they didn’t just say how they’re actively trying to get rid of me and some of the shit that’s been said about me from colleagues. They are uncomfortable which makes me feel uncomfortable which makes them more uncomfortable. They say I’m trippin but I heard my boss say mean shit about me to my colleagues. I mean wtf. They tell me I’m too nice and just makes me feel worse. If they don’t want me to be nervous and insecure be nice to me fucking smile like a nice person I mean wtf. You guys wonder. Then again I should not care what people think about me it’s part of my problem. I know I will leave eventually. What do you think? I think I may actually be trippin and the way everything is is my own fault. Seriously I hate these people but still want to be accepted because I don’t understand why their mean and show respect and care too very dumb and incompetent people. (They really are dumb and weird) sometimes people won’t look me in the eye. Idk maybe I’m just venting but if anyone can help please let me know.
Thank you 🥺