I know this isn't good, but at the same time I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I basically have given up trying to achieve the one house one wife success I know im never gonna get. Im just taking the George Carlin approach of being happy with what I have, that doesn't mean I wanna be a bum but im just gonna stop trying so hard for jobs that I know will never appreciate me. America now reminds me of a giant ant colony without a queen, slowly going in circles until it dies. I know I need to get a job, but ive just made my peace with the fact the only measure of success ill get is the van life if im lucky.
Im not sure how to find a job at this point since you gotta go through a million fucking hoops and ill still be paid pennies, but im just trying to focus on my artistic skills as a therapy almost. Then maybe if I get good enough I can sell those.