So the film industry is such a messed up world in so many ways, on every level. I started making moves, my family is even helping me tremendously to find a regular job and look for new apartments so I can be back home with them. It's given me this huge clarity. I took a movie job that actually ends right as my lease does and so far, this is the best job I've ever had. It's everything I was looking for sometimes (partly because they all have horror stories and don't want to be that way). It almost makes me hesitate to get out of the industry….almost. The hours are still grueling and should be illegal, and some people are already teetering on the edge of a complete breakdown, but there are some famous people that are amazingly involved and apparently are like down low brilliant business people that don't tolerate mess. Sometimes you get those, and they're also what make you hesitate, like SUPER smart and friendly people that will give you the world just because. But then you're suddenly reminded that this is an extremely corporate world that demands you give your entire life to it and punishes you for having anything in your life beyond the industry.
I see it even more now, in every department, with actors too, people that cope by telling themselves that they like it. They like constantly being on the move, constantly working, not getting enough sleep, not having a social life beyond getting hammered at wrap parties, and anyone who dares to criticize it will get their throats bitten out.
For example I recently just complained emphatically that the hours we work are time theft. I was working a day job, basically hired as an extra hand for a show moving costumes to their new office. This other PA who had been chill the entire day but when I said that he started yelling at me DO YOU GET PAID? DO YOU GET PAID?! DONT EVER SAY THAT AGAIN! and basically told me that my plan to get out of the production side of film to focus more on writing was the wrong choice. I said it felt good because it felt like I wasn't really getting out, just pivoting a little to focus more on writing, and not even just screenwriting. He said I needed to just keep working and eventually ill become a writers assistant and then in a few years maybe I'll be in the writers room. Well I don't want to do that, and higher up people have said it might be better to get out because I need to have time to write. (They meant it like in a supportive way if that came off harsh lol)
But that's what I see a lot. People aggressively telling themselves that this lifestyle is amazing, that being on your feet for 16 hours is rewarding, that being harassed and bullied because someone's burger didn't have enough sauce is acceptable, and rather than do anything to change it they act like speaking out is going to ruin their chances at success. The belief is that when you deal with it enough, one day you'll get to be the one that bullies others because you'll be a super rich producer or a famous such and such and no one can ever tell you what to do.
Oddly enough, as much as you hear about people in film banning chairs, forbidding downtime, not letting people rest because there's something to do. People acting like the 12 hour day isn't even enough….there is A LOT of downtime. There is A LOT of people experimenting, messing around, wasting their day, even browsing social media and doing all the things they demonize as being lazy and stealing time, but the difference is that you have to look busy. Sometimes PAs are just not needed. There are times when I'm put on “fire watch” as an excuse for me to sit there and do nothing because there's nothing for me to do and sometimes it lasts two hours. But I can't obviously be on my phone, but they let me I just can't look lazy. It's a very delicate artform.
It's just a sick world. I'm shocked that I've had more positive experiences with actors than I have with literally anyone else in the industry. They're the ones that compliment me the most, one even the few I've met with bad reputations. The producers, coordinators, and managers are the ones that call me the N word (im white idk what that's about), have sexually harassed me, have physically assaulted me, and just overall sent me over the edge and go to therapy. (I needed it anyway, but like film was the catalyst)
That's another thing though too is so many of them scolding me for “demanding” my superiors and actors cater to me. Basically there have been moments where I've had to distribute parking decals or covid contact tracing devices, objects that everyone in the production has to have. At some point I've said I'm looking for someone or I've placed myself by the front door to catch everyone, and someone was offended by this. They said I'm a nobody and the somebodies (anyone higher than a PA but most importantly the talent) do not need to be catering to me. They then remind me of how low and worthless I am and how dare I try to be practical or try to stop people as they're walking in first thing. (No one else cared)
At the very least, this new show im on has a lot of nice people I've met on other shows and they've told me most of the bad people I've met have had all kinds of terrible things happen recently. Felt nice and very validating that I wasn't as alone as I thought.
I'm glad I'm getting out. If I never sell a screenplay, oh well. I have other projects.