TL;DR: my boss is either forgetful or neglectful, if not downright gaslighting. On Thursday, I had a meeting with boss (name redacted to protect me and them) regarding performance- have one once a month. Which she knows outright causes me great anxiety/ panic attacks. First thing they do is rant at me regarding what I said in response to what they said in a team meeting. Not even a “how was your day so far?” Nope, just a big “how do you explain saying x in this meeting?” I told the boss exactly what I thought, in that technically speaking they brought up pay / talking to HR support first. They yell at me again and say that no they didn’t say that. I quote verbatim what was said and then they yell at me again. I tell them another situation wherein I feel that I will forget a MANDATORY training every third week of the month due to it being before my normal schedule and that it seems unfair to expect this of us. Especially when a second training time is available at a later time that would be better for my existing schedule. Boss basically told me to be an adult about it and make a reminder. Newsflash, that doesn’t work. I forgot today because I have a medical condition (redacted I have told boss about before) that alters my capacity to concentrate and / or my short term memory. I also have told my boss that I haven’t applied externally for a new job (hate being on phone, that’s half of my job) much due to the fact that many similar jobs in my area to what I do now are $6-$10 dollars an HOUR less than what I am making now. She asked specifically if I’m applying private sector versus federal jobs. Which pay more and have better benefits in my area. When I told my boss that I have told her that before, she snapped at me and said I had an attitude. Which, granted, by that time I did because I am super tired of her asking about me the same damned thing every single time she speaks to me. Honestly, I told her these things in February and January. She acts like she has so many things on her plate half the time (we have a team of 13 including her). I’m not sure if it’s me or her or both at this point but this meeting that we had on Thursday made me so upset that I couldn’t function both the full rest of the day after and most of the day Friday. Even writing this is making me angry all over again. Also, I requested a day off in a week I have to work Saturday and she basically said let the other person that controls that schedule respond then she posts the Overtime request for days that people have off for the next two months. I work closing shift- guess which day she didn’t request OT for? That’s right! The day I requested! I have a doctors appointment that I cannot reschedule unless I want to wait another two months for due scheduled time of appointment being three full hours (specialized appointment for redacted condition above). Rant over, sorry again for length. For comments: I will not disclose where I work, it’s not (company name’s) fault. I think it is my boss not realizing how she comes across. Generation gap aside (late Gen baby boomer boss vs early Gen millennial me) we don’t normally clash on things. But that changed about three years ago now and I don’t know why. Or what to do.