I never know quite how to start things like this, so I guess I'll just get right into it. This is gonna be kind of a long one, so consider that your short attention span warning. 🙂
I've been speaking up around here a little more often recently, maybe you've seen it, maybe you haven't. Either way, I've expressed some ideas that some might call idealistic, and some might say that they don't believe anyone is brave enough to actually act on those ideas. Some might say they've heard it all before, and some might say we're all helpless to do much of anything to change how things are, and I suppose they'd be right on all accounts somehow or another. I get it.
I want to raise a question though, publicly, here and now, so maybe you can all see that I'm here to at least TRY to put my “money where my mouth is” and to at least TRY to make an effort that might get you to believe in me- so that we can come together and believe in each other.
Here's my question- what if we COULD?
I want you to sit with that for a second, and while you do, do me a favor. Divorce yourself from cynicism, divorce yourself from doubt, divorce yourself from fear. Close your eyes, take a minute, and live with those words, for just a few moments. Look inside yourself and see what those words mean to you, without looking through the lenses of oppression, the media, or anyone else's opinion.
Now imagine- what if we, as a collective, as a group, as a force of fucking nature, could actually stand up and bring the change we all desire so deeply into action? What if we lived in a world where we could set aside our fears, and our differences (of which we have many, even in like-minded circles), and stand together to find a better way? To say, in large enough numbers that “they” would be forced to listen, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”?
I'd be willing to wager that if you actually listened to what I asked you to do, and you actually visualized that happening, outside of any preconceived notions or fears, that it looked pretty fucking good. There's no right or wrong version either, cause I'd never be so thick in the brain that I'd assume I have some golden answer. Maybe you saw a world where capitalism was dismantled and we helped each other, traded with each other, and shared services in-kind to sustain this world. Maybe you saw a world where things still looked like they do now, but a vastly more equitable version where the honor in all work and all human life was respected, and a decent life was a basic human right instead of something we had to fight for every single day of our lives. Maybe you saw a world where everyone was free to pursue their dreams without fear of homelessness, maybe you saw a world where people who played games for a living didn't make millions while people staved in the streets, or maybe you saw a world where we didn't worship fame and celebrity while treating everyone else like dogs- I don't know, I'm not in your head.
Regardless of what you saw, there is one uniting factor that is the thread connecting us all- capitalism is killing us all, and it's not doing it slowly. It is killing our planet, it is killing our future, and it's killing whatever shreds of hope any of us have left. Maybe it WOULD be idealistic to think we can dismantle it entirely, maybe we've just let it be too powerful for entirely too long- I'm not foolish enough to discount that as a possibility. But what if we could make it better? What if we could?
Before I go much further, I should probably (at least briefly) let you know a little bit about who I am, so you can decide if you even want to care enough about what I have to say to get on board. My childhood was pretty much your standard-issue bleak Midwestern upbringing. Father left BECAUSE I was born, mom remarried some prick that was even worse, and my older sister resented me for being the reason it all fell to shit. We didn't have much and my mother worked her ass off at hard, low paying jobs most of my life while we were in our hometown. I was a sick little kid who didn't fit in with anyone, and I was bullied most of my life til I got the fuck out of that place. I took refuge in loud guitars, drugs, and rejecting pretty much everything society told me I had to be.
We ended up in a better place down south, and (I'm trying to keep this shit brief so I don't bore you to tears) I struggled for a long time to find my way. After quite a few years of getting wasted every day, floundering through shitty jobs, and finding my way into every destructive relationship the universe threw my way- I ended up working in radio. When that went south, I floundered some more. Played in bands, managed bands, drank my way through most of it. Capitalism, the status quo, being a “normal” person was never something that was on my radar, from a very early age I felt that the world didn't want me, and I fucking well didn't want it either.
Eventually, after the end of a VERY long relationship that went on far longer than I care to admit, I met my now-wife and mother of my children. I ended up getting into a career in sales for a commercial print company. I learned all the things, and I had a knack for talking to people and cutting through the bullshit, so I did what I was supposed to do. Problem was, every time I landed a big client something would go wrong in production, some part of it that was out of my hands, and I'd lose the big client and all the hard work I'd put in would be gone in an instant. I did what I was supposed to do, I played along, and the rug was pulled out from under me every time. More days than not, I would sit in my office with the door closed and think about how much better off my wife and kids would be if I just ended my life and let them move on without my failure weighing them down. I did that shit for almost seven years, and the I/we decided to start our own business. We started as a blog and then we moved into selling stuff on Etsy, ding local events- all the things. We were good at it too, but we could never quite crack the social media code, and after a few years (through most of the pandemic) we had to shut it down. Everything I had ever wanted, and thought I would get out of music- freedom, creativity, and a chance to build a life for us that was sustainable through only the work of US, was gone.
Things got dark and stayed that way for quite a while. 100% honesty? During the pandemic, for the first time in my life, I bought a gun. Just seemed like a good idea, especially since at the time it felt like we were careening headfirst into the apocalypse. During the time I was struggling with social media, and feeling the business slipping out from under me, I had to get rid of that gun. I had to get rid of it because, once again, I was consumed with the thought that I didn't deserve any of the good things I had and that the world would be better off if I wasn't in it. I'm not even a “gun person”, in fact I believe the world would be better off without the fucking things, so while it was crazy enough that I had one it started to become even worse that I was thinking about turning it on myself.
Since then, I've been a stay-at-home-dad and we've been managing on my wife's salary. I take care of shit around here and I'm aways here to take/pick up the kids from school, and it's working for us- but not like it should. She makes what I would have thought was a fucking crazy salary when I was younger, and were still finding ourselves in debt, living check to check, and worrying about the future.
I wanted to get to this part fairly quickly, because I know some of you will say “who the fuck is this guy to stand up against capitalism when he isn't even fucking working right now?!” and I suppose it wouldn't be wrong to question me for that. The truth? Capitalism, its hierarchy, and its drive to break our sprits has caused me to very nearly take my life on more than one occasion and I can't live another day without at least TRYING to make my purpose be changing it for everyone, for good.
I feel like maybe that wasn't the best “getting to know you” spiel but it's hard to condense a whole life into a Reddit post anyone will actually take the time to read. I really just wanted you to understand a little about who I am and why I'm here, so maybe you'd trust me, at least as much as you can trust a stranger on the internet anyway.
What the fuck am I up to right now? Well, all this restlessness and desire to change the world has led me to trying to get back into the working world and I'm currently trying to find something with a nonprofit fighting to end homelessness. I can't just sit and contribute to nothing but capitalism for capitalism's sake anymore, but we also need to get some savings built up and I need to get out and do some good. In tandem, I'm also trying to see if there's a remote possibility of me starting a movement of my own- and that's why I'm here.
There's a quote from Alcoholics Anonymous that I've been hearing repeating in my head the past few months (I did AA for a while, I'm not an alcoholic but I definitely had a penchant for self-destruction and it did help me work through some shit)- “half measures availed us nothing”. I keep hearing those words because I feel like it's all we're getting. A union here, an extra vacation day there. Old boss leaves, new prick arrives. Democratic victory, Republican assault. Us vs. them, you vs. me, garbage in and garbage out. One small victory leading to another stinging defeat.
What I believe with all of my heart is that if we continue to fight for small victories it will not add up in the long run, and we will be left with the same world time and time again. It's all too small, it just is. I know there are plenty of people that are vastly more educated in this stuff than I am, but I don't care. I probably should have went to work organizing and trying to do this shit a LOT earlier in life, but the trauma sandwich of my childhood had me believing that if I didn't get a record deal I was worthless so I spent most of my time not ending up a rock star and hating myself for it. I'm not perfect and I'm not here to pretend that I am. I'm not here to fucking “white knight” the world, and I'm not here to be better than anyone else. All I know is this- if we keep fighting for scraps, that's all we're gonna get.
So, it's back to the question- what if we COULD?
What the fuck does that mean? I guess that's why I'm here, I want to find out if this shit is ACTUALLY possible. Cause I've said it before in this group- if it IS possible, I'll be the first fucker leading the charge. I said it, and I meant it, and that's why I'm here. What if we COULD see past our differences to realize that no matter WHO we are, capitalism seeks only to break and subjugate us to serve its selfish needs? What if we could see past all the things we're fighting amongst ourselves over and see that we have one common enemy? And, what if we could come together and PEACEFULLY stand up, walk out, and scream “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH” with the force of millions so that it would be loud enough to stop the system in its tracks, and force it to work with us on a solution?
What if we could see past the fear, the sacrifice, and the hard work and see that there's a better way for us if we ACTUALLY stand up and stop taking scraps- and bring the system to the grinding halt it would need to come to for us to make an actual, tangible difference? What if we COULD?
Could we do it? I don't give a fuck if it sounds idealistic, I'm sick of hearing that it's just too crazy to think about- could we actually organize a strike/walkout/protest large enough, and peaceful enough, to do what has never been done? They're fucking trying in France right now and it's beautiful to see, but I know most of us here in the US are terrified to make a stand cause of the trigger happy cops, which is exactly where they want us to be. But, and I know someone will throw “idealistic” at me for this- but what if we actually COULD organize a global event, where millions of us just marched peacefully to our capitols, and said ENOUGH? What if we kept our anger at bay and just walked in solidarity, and just stood up together to say that enough is enough, and we demand to work on a better way together.
No bombs, no bloodshed, no tears. Just millions of people, bringing the working world to a stop to send the loudest message a protest/strike has ever sent. And, what if there was a way we could all take care of each other along the way? Maybe some of us would lose those jobs, maybe some not-so-great things would happen- I'm not saying it would be without sacrifices required, but what if we acted as one giant community and cushioned the blow? What if we all pitched in, what if we could actually get some non-profits and anti-capitalist minded businesses to help the cause? What if there was a way we could all walk out, march to our capitols peacefully, and make a stand together while also taking care of each other to ensure things weren't too rough on us as a result of our efforts?
In short, I'll pose the question again- what if we COULD? Fuck all the reasons why NOT to, fuck all the voices in your head telling you it's impossible, fuck all that. Forget about all the cons, imagine the big-ass PRO waiting at the end if we succeeded. I don't know the final answer, I don't know a lot honestly, but I know that, with every fiber of my being, I believe there is something in me that needs to try.
Where do we go from here? Well, the cynical side of me says I'll just get roasted in the comments for a couple days and this will end up yet another squashed attempt at changing the world for the better, it happens every day and I know I'm not special. But, maybe we could have a conversation? Maybe we could have a real dialogue, and see if this could actually be a real thing for all of us? I know it's the internet, and Reddit at that, but I also know that if I stand even a passing chance at having an intelligent dialogue about this it's gotta happen here. I'm off all the other social media, I had to do it for my mental health but I got back on Reddit cause on occasion I've had the thought that maybe I can make something happen here- a fool's hope maybe, but it's all I got so I'll run with it.
I'd love the input and help of others, maybe there are some organizers in this sub that feel the same way I do? Maybe there are some people that read what I have to say and felt something ignite inside them too? Maybe everyone will think I'm full of shit, maybe it's all of the above. I don't know, so i guess the only way to move forward is to leave this here and see what you guys say about it.
I need you to understand that this isn't some half-hearted attempt to get attention or clout, I don't give a fuck about that and it's not why I'm here. I'm doing this anonymously for fuck's sake, so I'm hoping you'll take what I've said exactly as I've said it. Someone the other day said something to me in the comments after I expressed a very condensed version of this, they said “whine, whine, whine. So brave until its time to be brave”. So, I'm here. I'm fucking here and I AM ready to be brave, I'm willing to do what it takes but I can't do it alone. We'd ALL need to be brave, and not just a little bit either.
Let's talk, and I'll hold out a shred of hope that you can see that I'm not full of shit, and maybe we can have a real conversation about whether or not we can galvanize millions of people worldwide behind this cause. Sound crazy? Yeah, sure as fuck does! But if we never talk about it, we'll never fucking do it either so I'm here to start. I'm here to be a spark in the hopes that we can become a fire.
Full disclosure: I almost deleted this just as I finished it, but fuck it- let's see what happens. 😉