I'm still feeling embarrassed and ashamed. Picked up my daughter from daycare, was informed I needed to bring in more diapers for when she's there. Went to Walmart, overtired and hungry kid in tow. Just wanted to grab something easy for dinner tonight and stock up on diapers.
Card was declined. Cashier asked me to run it again, could be their machine acting up. Was declined again. I was like oh fuck. My daughter is having a fit to get out of the cart because she's at that age where she hates being confined at all. There's a line forming behind me because there's only like two actual registers opened. I just got so embarrassed and upset I said never mind and just left without getting anything.
Ended up checking my bank account to see that my electric bill drafted out three days early. It wasn't supposed to come out until Monday. I ended up crying once we got back to our apartment. Fed my kid a peanut butter sandwich and just felt defeated. I work, pay my bills, pay for a in-home daycare because I can't afford a facility, and it's just not enough. I have nothing for Christmas for my kid (not like she'll really understand what Christmas is, she's not even 2 yet but I still feel bad), I have laundry to do but don't have enough money to go to my apartment's laundry facilities after paying rent, the light bill and now this.
Just feeling defeated and sad. I didn't expect this and I just wish it could be better. It shouldn't be this hard to survive when I'm working so hard to just live. I just want some breathing room, and maybe a little financial security and not living in the fear of not having enough to provide for my child. I guess that's too much to ask for though