In august I took a new position at the institution I work at. I was excited as it was a decent pay increase that I fought for (and actually posted about here). For the past 3 months I have known it was a mistake. I kept thinking maybe it would get better but it hasn’t.
My boss is mean. He is constantly complaining that people my age are lazy, he provides no direction and then yells when you don’t read his mind, he’s racist, I could keep going. I just don’t fit into his idea of a good employee and he doesn’t fit into my idea of a good boss.
The last straw that’s led to suicidal ideation for the past 3 days was him repeatedly telling me he’s not getting he money’s worth out of me with the door open so the rest of the office staff could hear. I think it was just the final blow that pushed me past miserable to “I’d rather get in a car crash than go to my job.” I left early that day and I stayed home today. I have to go back tomorrow and I’m having anxiety so bad I can’t sleep.
I’ve already requested a transfer back to my old position in a different department but I’m afraid it could take months. I don’t think I can live like this for months.