Cw sexual assault
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In 2016 I worked as a temp, got roofied by a manager and raped right after my divorce, had to stick it out another two years. They blocked me from full time and I was the only contractor to get let go when COVID hit. I said yes to a job with a million Glassdoor red flags 18 months later because I had to and my direct supervisors went out of their way to gaslight me, even repeatedly telling me I was new to the field despite them hiring me based on over a decade of experience. They last straw was someone deleted a job of mine off the server in between when I finished and when quality assurance got it. HR offered to fire me without cause so I could collect, going out of their way several times to tell me none of what happened had anything to do with my ability to do the work.
It's a few months later and I have a job interview from 2pm to 4pm tomorrow with 6 different people. I ironed my most professional clothes and got some managers I didn't think would be down to be references. The Skype interview went great.
I am unenthusiastic and anxious. If I don't get it, I'll have to start a bullshit training and career counseling process through unemployment. I work in print, so everything they've said is “can you do UX” which is basically the production artist version of “have you tried yoga.”
If I do get it, I have to start a new job. after the last five years I don't think anything fills me with dread as much as the chance that this one will be like the last two, or worse: that I'm so fucked up from the last two i won't be able to get through a day without multiple triggers starting a meltdown. I feel like I need an outpatient therapy day program for several months but that's never going to be an option, so the good outcome of all this will be me sprinting with a broken leg.