I have been through plenty of toxic jobs and the last one was so detrimental to my mental health that I have been unemployed for 14 months. The current state of the economy also has something to do with it though. Many are unemployed so I have a lot of competition.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I needed the time off to really heal and to visit all the doctors and therapists I needed to see. I got a lot better. But my fear of working actually increased that way. Everything I built for myself could be destroyed by a job again. I am even only looking for a part time for that reason, so work can have the least impact possible.
But I have also been having weird illnesses. Strange migraines, strange long covid since december, strange throat aches and weird blood tastes in my mouth. My doctor couldn't find anything. I don't know if it's related to my anxiety of work.
But the thought of work, the recent job interviews where I was already discriminated without shame (they asked if I wanted children), and the rejection (both hot and cold) are already getting to me. I live off € 500 benefits and honestly I could live like this for the rest of my life if they would all just leave me the F alone.