I have been working PT at a restaurant for a little over a month now. Before every shift, I find myself very sad and dreading going in. I was sobbing last week as I was getting ready for work. I don't find myself too physically tired from this job, but I've come to realize this past week that I do not do anything to maintain a healthy personal life outside of work. I've completely withdrawn from my usual hobbies because I can't get myself out of bed before and after work. I feel so mentally exhausted and can't motivate myself to do anything except go into work.
Before every shift, I tell myself I'm going to talk to a manager and quit, but I feel so uncomfortable with confrontation. I'd also feel guilty burdening my coworkers because we are understaffed and me quitting would put more work onto them. Although my manager and I agreed to 20-30 hours a week when I got hired, I'm getting scheduled nearly 40 hours a week (this is completely my fault because I put down full availability temporarily before I start school) and my life feels super unstructured right now. I feel like a robot, and like I'm not really living my life.
I know the answer is to just talk to someone and quit. I know that this job does not hold the same respect that I show to it, and I never meant for this job to be anything beyond some extra cash, so I shouldn't feel too guilty about leaving. I have always been a huge people-pleaser but I really want to grow out of it and learn to put myself first without feeling bad. I guess I'm essentially just looking for a little pep talk and wanted to ask for advice on how to be more courageous when it comes to setting boundaries for the sake of my mental health. Why do I do this to myself when it comes to working/jobs? I feel like a coward 🙁