Edit: TLDR? Boss took me on the long haul – showering me with 'encouragement' and keeping me around, financially; in my observation, only due to his gambling high risk nature as a flat-out 'make as much money as possible' business man – meaning, he estimated making more money off of my employment, over the investment he would possibly have to make, to keep me (and others at this business) around.
Edit2: spacing
OK – I've had a few beverages, so this may be a slightly frustrating read; Maybe even too vague.. Though, I will do my best to proof-read, and fix any weirdness I employ during this winded story…
Alright; I 'Manage' this place. This place is 'retail' in the sense that everything I sell is a consumable, and makes people.. well, much happier (temporarily) than they would be otherwise. Some people can only find happiness from the product we stock. I'm leaving this open-ended to interpretation, because over half of the staff we employ are Reddit users; not to mention followers of this sub, hilariously..
I have worked at this place for just shy of a decade. Another 'hop', and 'skip' in time – I'll be there…(Note the quotes) which is.. kind'of fucked, honestly. I started at 8.50/hr. (BTW, no benefits – of any kind..to this day. No Official PTO, Vacation, Goals, Sick Leave, etc etc.. none of it.) From 8.50, I am now.. well, between 16/hr, and 20/hr. To make it more specific, I am on the higher end of that range, but not the highest of the range. I'm hiding this because my raise was recent; and the owner (it's not corporate) is a Reddit user, as well. This raise, unfortunately, was definitely given out of selfish, petty guilt.
By that, I mean that everyone employed here is only given raises based on how much they do for the owner.. and by THAT, I mean how much the owner thinks you are worth. BUT… that doesn't necessarily mean more tasks = more money. It is a VERY 'this aspect of my company makes me this much $$ when done this specific way' type of worth. I am the only one who can do 9 out of 10 tasks.. this isn't an actual count, just an example of my 'expertise/training' for this business. The 2nd in line for this is just under me on the opposite shift.. and they do about 7 out of 10 tasks. Just to be clear on their part.. they've only been around 3-5 years, and make just a couple stamps less than I do. (sorry again, for the undefined ranges)
This place is toxic. The other shift's Manager is a bigot, has no reference for emotional connection, and throws money gurus at you when you are down on your luck with life/bills. Essentially, calling you stupid. I'd name the 'guru', but it's so specific that it could be picked out by my lovely underlings; and they are talkers to a fault. (Not to sound condescending, I love the other employees. They all rock, and I vibe with every one of them in their own right – we all struggle; they support me.. and I support them)
Throughout the years.. The owner has used this tactic, that I, and the others have caught onto. This tactic is aimed at keeping us (mostly) hard workers under their employ. Basically >> Employee has hardship; Employee explains hardship; Head-Honcho 'listens' and talks you down off the ledge (of quitting) – this involves talks of raises, future endeavors, 'secrets' that include, and motivate you etc etc.. only to eventually, in the time discussed, tell you they are too busy/broke to provide what they had discussed.. and give you the bare minimum to keep you at bay so you stay just a little longer in the hopes you will get what you thought you were getting. Wash, rinse, repeat. Stuck? < Not really.. but in the climate of our region in the US o'FuckYouOver A it's easier to stay, than go.
Some examples of what I've been through…
Can't afford to move into this apartment? “Oh, ThrowMeAwayPlezz .. here is money to move into your new place, pay me back when you can.. we will keep a log over 'insert method'.” (multiple instances)
“Oh, ThrowMeAwayPlezz .. roommate moved out because of x.. well, I've got a plan I've been hiding.. this is the plan >> fast forward to time-frame mentioned >> .. oh damn, I'm so busy I forgot/can't do it right now/can't afford right now .. but if you do x, I will provide a bonus/raise/this/that/the-other.” >>> “oh yeah, I forgot about that.. It's not the right time because (again) this/that/the-other.”
“Oh, ThrowMeAwayPlezz .. You quit, and it didn't work out? Let me again provide you with the capital to come back as a consolation; but when I remember I did this later, I will write it down as something that you owe me even though I said you wouldn't owe me because it's more worth it to me that you're here, than it is for me to find someone else and take the time to train them.” >>> “Oh I totally forgot about all of the other stuff I've previously said, and I feel fucking 'TERRIBLE'.. here is the raise that you deserved probably 3 years ago, but didn't get until now. I hope the chump change can make a difference in your debts, and every-day-living!”
(during my proof-read – This last section might get me caught.. but FUCKIT. There are SO many people in the USA that I could easily deny this anyway)
Long story short, I have had a HELLUVA time with this place. I've quit 1 time, and had to come back due to unfortunate circumstance.. and with that, I made sure to acknowledge I would NOT be sticking around permanently, and wanted to pursue a career path I have been interested in most of my life.. Unfortunately, that career path requires a lot of;
A: Self study, and time; not to mention determination, and motivation…
or
B: The GAINS; for either College, or Certificate Classes.
Neither of those, I have. I was encouraged by the owner (but not the opposite shift manager) to go for my goals because 'I know you're capable, and worth that kind of work' – yet, when those kinds of ideas are discussed.. the distance becomes immeasurable. To. Be. Clear. The owner is a descendant of another Country, and Continent – though born in USA IIRC. He grew up running shit, and learning shady practices to 'skirt the lines'. He fits the stereotype of his people, which is pretty shit tbh. Even more shit .. one of the peeps I started with is basically babied by this guy (the owner) .. and SWEARS that I am one of the one's the owner actually cares about. I don't feel it. In my current situation, I am more than scared, and skeptical at what I can accomplish. I feel as if this job has ruined me.
IDK. I feel I've explained enough.. any thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Ideas? Anything goes.
Hope you guys enjoyed the read; As I go over my post, I definitely feel I am confiding, as well as complaining. I hope you all don't mind; or, rather, can relate.
What do you think? I'll be up for the next 4-6 hours; Can't wait to hear your thoughts.
Peace!