First-time poster here and doing so because my boyfriend encouraged me to tell my story. I also created a new email address and account because I don't want to use my personal one. I’m not sure if I want to vent or if I’m looking for advice…
I have worked at a well-known, world-renowned civil rights museum in the “Deep South” of the United States for over 6 years now. Although I’m not even 30, I was recently named one of the top 50 museum influencers in the world, I’ve been published in a university journal overseas, spoken at numerous conferences, been on the Public Broadcast Service, and I’ve been listed on 3 “30 Under 30” lists, and more. I have a master’s degree from one of the top universities in my country. However, that only got me a raise of $1,000, which bumped me up to a new insurance bracket, so now I make less than I did when I started with just a Bachelor’s.
At my job, I have been verbally abused and followed/stalked. We are perpetually understaffed, but we’re also almost always short-staffed… For example, in my 6 years of being here, we’ve gone through around 13 museum guides. It’s due to low pay. With all my credentials, awards, and whatever, I make ~$11.25/hr. Lately, I’ve started to have panic attacks because I can barely make ends meet. I’m trying to get out of here and have been trying for over 4 years now. I’ve applied to 436 jobs, gone through 3 career coaches, had my CV and cover letter professionally redone, and had interview training with a former Miss America… yet here I sit. My feedback from jobs is that I don’t quite have enough experience with some niche thing they’re asking for, they don’t want someone from outside of the state (or their own city), or that they think I’m doing such a great job where I am that they would hate to take me away from a community who needs me. *eye-roll*
This place is toxic in the most literal sense – for over 2 months, we had actual shit pumping out into a main electrical closet, and band-aids kept being slapped on. We were only closed for 2 months for COVID and were barely given any kind of preventative materials (i.e., we were given mop cleaner to “disinfect” one area). We don’t get any support from the organization that owns us, our pay is awful, and they won’t raise it, we “aren’t supposed to comment on anything relevant” (even though I do and get in trouble for it), and we currently encounter so many racist, sexist, and other -ist remarks from the administration.
Honestly, I’m completely terrified. I can barely afford to make ends meet, I have no drive anymore, and I live in a part of the country that keeps regressing further and further back to where I am fearful for my own human rights. My mental health has taken a beating, and my physical health has also suffered. I’m in therapy, but I know I need to GTFO. However, I don’t have the means to just up and quit and move off to my dream city.
I just feel so stuck, so alone, and so frightened. Nothing feels worth it anymore, and I feel like such a failure because I haven’t gotten a single job offer yet, even though I have been trying my hardest. Thank you all for letting me rant. Like so many of you, I’m overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated.