Here goes, long time lurker first time poster.
I am trying to do this somewhat anonymously, as i haven't told most people of my situation apart from family and close friends. I doubt it will be easy though, as field is pretty narrow.
Anyways, been wanting to share my story for a long time… But I'm a bit embarrassed, and feel like I'm a spoiled brat. Because when i read other people's post, my story and life has been like playing a game on easy setting.
Thats mostly due to the fact that I'm Danish, and this then becomes a danish antiwork story. Pretty much any antiwork story from dk is going to sound silly against an American one.. since we in general get payed money to work, have health insurance built in the system.. there is pension and usually 5-6 weeks payed vacation.
So sorry about that.. but i still feel like been brainwashed by a system, that only cares about money and productivity.
I grew up in the 80's.. we had no money. Both parents worked, but they where paying something close to 20% on their mortgage back then. I guess that was a thing back then.
So as soon as I could, i started working. So at 13 i got a paper route, and later some cleaning jobs and other odd jobs you would put a young teenager to do. These where weekend and after school jobs ofc.
I worked my way through school, “high school” and later the University. I always had a job… Was always working. Though the University is free here, you still need money for books, food, rent…. Drinks etc.
I ended up studying psychology. Here if u want to be a clinical psychologist, you need to do a bachelors in psychology. Then a masters in psychology.. then work a few years closely supervised, and then you become an authorized psychologist. Most keep studying and specializing trough their career.
Trough my entire childhood i/we where told that you needed to become an academic. Technical school was for… Well idiots..
My danish teacher hated me.. why is a different story, but i have my father to blame for that.
My upbringing, was less than ideal.. mind you, not the kind of upbringing many of my patients had, with abuse, and violence etc. But cold and unpredictable enough, that i had a natural interest in psychology and also the inner workings of people.
My grades where generally pretty solid, despite the danish teacher. So to prove my self to her and my family. I worked my ass of, and became a psychologist. (Here it's one of the more prestigious fields, with high grade requirements).
Anyways, after my studies i went to work in psychiatry. For those unfamiliar, it's the part of the hospital that deals with serious mental disorder.. it's government funded, and free.
I'm not sure how long it was before i started getting frustrated with the way things where run.
As a psychology student, we were always taught, the best argument always wins.. so seeing how backwards things where run, i started to argue to do things differently, better more efficiently.. and most of all more helpful for the patients.
It got me nowhere.
A few years go by, and the severe lack of psychiatrists open the path for a new extra education for the psychologist. It was basically a copy paste job of the education for psychiatrists.. with less focus in meds and biology.
It was 4 years where they move you, from one specialist area to another, every 6months.
So i got to try and see all sorts of different things. Before my focus vas therapy. The new education, is to tailor you to take over where they lack psychiatrists, so more leadership focus, and diagnostics.
I was a good clinical therapist.. and became very good at diagnostics. The job title is long and hard to translate, it's something like; special psychologyst in adult psychiatry.
So the last… 5/6ish years (time flies), i was the local specialist. I moved up in the system, took over from a completely incompetent psychiatrists, and got out local department to run as smoothly as possible (not alone ofc. But i don't see how they would have done so without me).
Moving up unfortunately makes it very clear, that there is only so much you can do in a system as big and cumbersome as it is/was. Bad decision kept coming down from an administration, run by someone with obviously no idea about what we where doing.
I kept getting more and more responsibility.. took over things my local boss could not do. And i believe i did them better. But ofc. As people who read this subreddit knows. it was ofc. Just piled on top of all the other things i did. I asked for a raise a few times, but as you know there is no money this year.
Eventually my boss got so stressed out, i had to take even more of her responsibility.. and my own stress symptoms became more and more clear. I started snapping at my family.. i couldn't sleep, was generally not happy. It had been a problem for a while, just now so obvious i could not quite ignore it.
But sense of duty, made me keep going. For the patients, the team, my family.
But we spoke about it at home, and tried to make plans.. like paying off all debt. So that one day, i could take a break. Or find something else. That part was not clear.
Eventually the boss quit. And for a while i did both jobs. A new boss came.. and by then having been ignored for a raise again though i was keeping my department afloat. I decide, to give her 3 months, if things are no better i quit. The third month rolls around, it's not better. And the day before i plan to hand in my notice.. my new boss quits! She could not handle that place either.
For a while i was debating staying, and helping the next boss setup. “Luckily” i got into an argument with another boss from a different department, about who had the last say about some diagnostics.
Came home, talked it over with my wife (I'm a lucky guy, she is fantastic), and the day after i handed in my notice.
It was the most liberating thing i have ever done. I had no job lined up, i felt like I was done with psychiatry and i just needed a break.
I don't know what happened to the place or my patients.. i never looked back. Part of me ofc. Think and hope the place burned to the ground, but I'm sure the somehow managed.
Now i have what I would translate to unemployment insurance.. never used it before. And it's good for 2 years. I get leds than half what I used to make. But.. well between not having a car,
Car insurance, running cost, clothing, buying food and also having time to do things around the house that before i would have had to pay someone to do.. it's not really that much of a difference. I mean i don't really use any money.
This is also partially because here.. and I'm sure in the rest of the world, all the caring professions are seriously underpaid, and taken advantage of. I'm talking, nurses, child care staff, teachers etc. The psychologist are perhaps not quite as badly treated… But still, fall in the same group. They know we took the job because of too much heart, and a desire to help. The guilt and responsibility we feel towards our patients, make us perfect tools for the grind.
For the first half year.. i kept thinking, 6 months and then I'm ready. Just need to find a better place, and not take on so much stuff.. so after 6 months i apply for a couple of psychology positions(not in psychiatry).
I started having the stress symptoms right away, as soon as I applied. They got worse once i got to the interviews. So i decided not to go further.
I have to admit, the job burned me out. Perhaps if i had not tried to do 2 very demanding jobs at once i would have lasted longer. But i think it was inevitable in the end. It's a very giving job(psychology) in many ways, and for may years i loved it. But, it's hard to deal with that much pain, on a daily basis year after year.
I'm still unemployed, it's been just over a year. And to be honest I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I have been racking my brain to find something, i would enjoy. that is a bit related, so i don't have to start over from scratch.
But most things like Hr or recruiting just sounds like the worst jobs to me.. I'm sure r/antiwork has had an influence in my thinking, but.. even without I'm pretty sure they would not be for me.
I'm honestly enjoying not working. Spending time with the family. Playing computer games, going fishing etc.
Every now and the i panic a little, thinking i need to find a job and a path.
Today was one of those. Who knows maybe someone here has tried something like it?
Thx for sticking with this, if anyone actually made it this far 🙂 i know it's a bit of a long rant.. i honesty skipped a lot.