Here it is. It’s been almost 2 years that I have this office job where I mostly work from home (I need to go to the office 1 time a week for the sake of being there). It’s a job that was offered to me in the pandemic after « retiring » from my first career in what I studied for (music) because basically i was tired of being poor. Soon after getting hired I noticed that the tasks wouldn’t fill the 40h I’m paid for. I’m the only one in this team but my boss that has poor management skills and wears a lot of hats. Basically I’m unsupervised and very often I have in between times where I have so little job that I can procrastinate and do it all when I’m at the office.
Cool no?! Yeah. But I’m getting tired. I still need to wake up everyday, be present in front of the computer 40h a week, do the tasks and work for this company that I hate. I have no sense of belonging, I don’t get why people accept steeling their lives for capitalism and it makes no sense at me at all. Honestly music was way more fulfilling (but was too hard financially).
So I’m stuck. I know my privileges of being paid to do not much and it’s why I stayed so long. I don’t know what to do else anyways. But I’m getting so so frustrated to do something that has no value for me and doesn’t gratify me at all. I feel like I’m becoming depressed or bored out because of this but I’m scared I’ll end up in a job where I’ll be too busy. I can’t picture myself actually working 40h a week, I like free time too much for this…
So I’m at a dead end, basically. I’m stuck. Staying but hating it or leaving with the risk of losing this free time…