I used to work in corporate management at a pretty high level for a hot minute, and for whatever reason it just tonight occurred to me that I can actually do something positive for people. We're not necessarily talking Goldman Sachs here, but getting a 4.0 applicant from an Ivy happened multiple times a month, so nothing to scoff at either. This stuff has a way of actually trickling down from the top, so that statement is meaningful at least in the sense that a lot of other companies are likely to use the same tactics and philosophies.
Let me unwrap the black box to the extent I can. This will be a combination of things I just wish I had known, and things they actively ask us not to tell you. I don't claim any of this shit will be revolutionary to anyone who's worked in management or knows business operations, but for those of you with autism or just getting out of college, it might be something you needed to hear. I know I did.
- Yes, you are lied to about the promotion and it is with intent. We are specifically trained not to tell you no, even if its simply never going to happen. If you've ever heard the phrase, “when we have headcount,” or “in the budget” you can bet you're being managed. If you hear either of these answers, its time to change jobs because your manager does not respect you and is planning to spend their social capital on something else.
- Your team lead has no power. None. They are a talking head. They do nothing. They may nominally approve your PTO, but they don't even really do that. Anything they give to you was given to you by their manager, and at best they didn't argue when discussing it. Maybe they genuinely gun for you in discussions. That's a rare case, hang onto that if you find it.
- Likewise everyone who doesn't control a budget is pretty much as powerless as an entry-level employee if it comes down to the wire. Budgetary control is a nightmare and those people are the true fixtures of the company for the sole fact that HR, legal, and accounting really don't want to deal with any more of that headache than they absolutely have to. Getting mad at your team lead/junior manager/sometimes even senior manager for raises, work event spending, etc. is often an exercise in misplaced anger and outright futility. Instead you should be mad at how many useless layers exist simply to insulate the real decision maker from you.
- Managers are trained to regard you as an other. We are trained to socialize amongst each other and not with you. Management philosophy doesn't stop at getting the job done, it stops at making sure you are regarded as consistently superior to your headcount.
- Managers do not work any harder most of the time. Especially in operations. The first thing managers will do, and there is no real oversight working against it, is offload their most frustrating or annoying tasks. This is strategic. If you wait too long to offload the hard stuff, people question why they suddenly have to do extra work. If you do it the moment you get into the chair, people naturally assume there are more important responsibilities for your function.
- HR is not your friend. HR is not your friend. HR is not your fucking friend. HR exists to protect the company, full stop. Treat HR like you would treat the police.
- Many companies have “anticipated turnover,” and if your work environment is extremely shitty, this will mean at least one manager has a “fire quota” for the year, either because they're walking a performance tightrope and need scapegoats, or because they're sick in the head. Flip a coin. Basically any time a manager can justify an employee leaving, “ah he went to college, we can't offer college here” they can call it anticipated/low-impact/”non-regrettable” turnover. If you take a better job somewhere and want to fuck your shitty manager over, you're better off telling them you quit to go become a panhandler.
- Yes, there is a manager slack. Yes there is a secret manager slack. Yes there is a manager cell data only google hangouts room. Yes it is as awful as you imagine.
I find it annoying that a lot of this stuff… actually works. Trying to be the cool manager will often backfire as your employees grow more emboldened with each concession, and while this hasn't hurt productivity or attendance in my experience, it will cause your fellow managers to look at you with disdain and ultimately hurt your career. Having to choose between the well-being of your headcount and yourself is a difficult choice, like it or not, and it shouldn't surprise you how often managers are going to choose themselves. You don't have to like it, you do have to try to understand it if you want to dismantle it effectively.
Maybe I'll add to this stuff, maybe I'll delete this post. I don't know if anyone will actually find any of the info new or useful.