As a new grad I got my first job as a researcher/assistant at a university.
I was reluctant to work in my field, as the last couple of years of uni were rough on my mental health and Covid caused my practical skills to be nonexistent.
But as applications out of my field were getting nowhere, I decided to give this job a shot. In my interview I was honest and explained I lacked the practical skills necessary.
6 months later and I’m writing this in my office where I’m doing nothing in particular.
They have pretty much left me on my own, without any sort of mentorship or coherent structure to my work. I don’t really get included in any discussions and just get most of my info when overhearing it from someone else. I am expected to help with students practical courses, when I have no experience myself. I am the youngest person in the department by far and it’s making it difficult to connect to anyone when it seems like we disagree in nearly every topic that is brought up.
My motivation is slowly dwindling and I struggle to do anything productive at all.
Everyone around me thinks I should keep at it because a) I’m being paid for doing next to nothing all day
b) If I quit I’m “out of the system” and it would be very difficult for me to get a job in this field again.
Probably seems like a no brainer up to this point but I struggle to figure out the next steps.
I quit and then what?
I’m afraid of being judged (especially by my parents) if I just get a “regular” job.
I have no idea what I want to do.
I don’t want to quit and go waste 10 hours/day in another office.
I haven’t gotten advice other than “well yeah I cried every morning before work for 3 years”
I don’t want to be miserable every day because it’s somehow supposed to be a normal experience.
So please, reddit, help me make some sense of this.