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Antiwork

Rant about blatant shoplifters making retail even less bearable

I'm a bottom-rung retail employee at one of those predatory, bottomfeeding discount chains that are popping up everywhere. We're a known, easy target for shoplifters (and armed robberies, but I think that's still less morally ambiguous for now). I've been seeing lots of pro-shoplifting content lately and I want to get a rant off my chest. It's long but it's been a long time coming and this is therapeutic for me to write it out. We all have to survive and I understand that a reliable car and no unforeseen expenses are the only differentiator between the homeless and the folks who work here and at similar places. This isn't about people stealing food or meds or tampons. We turn a blind eye to theft of biological necessities. Nor is this about shoplifting generally – if you leave no evidence and I can easily avoid seeing you do it, as…


I'm a bottom-rung retail employee at one of those predatory, bottomfeeding discount chains that are popping up everywhere. We're a known, easy target for shoplifters (and armed robberies, but I think that's still less morally ambiguous for now). I've been seeing lots of pro-shoplifting content lately and I want to get a rant off my chest. It's long but it's been a long time coming and this is therapeutic for me to write it out.

We all have to survive and I understand that a reliable car and no unforeseen expenses are the only differentiator between the homeless and the folks who work here and at similar places. This isn't about people stealing food or meds or tampons. We turn a blind eye to theft of biological necessities. Nor is this about shoplifting generally – if you leave no evidence and I can easily avoid seeing you do it, as far as I'm concerned you're built into the business model and we have no real problem.

This is about the folks who blatantly or “cleverly” shoplift shit they don't need. People who think it's a thrill, or a social movement, or a TokTik facetwit or whatever the fuck lunatic form the latest iteration of our lizard-brained hive mind has taken to convince people with low self-worth that shoplifting will give them dopamine.

Our store gets two workers per shift to run an entire midsized store and the overlords expect us to send them pictures of the cleaned store after every shift. This is dehumanizing enough but we've been having shoplifters come in 2 minutes before we close and making a huge mess, picking up random stuff and putting it in the wrong place and so on. Or the dirtbags who pretend to shop for an hour and will fill a whole cart and then pretend to have forgotten their wallet so they can walk out with a DVD in their pocket.

That can add an extra hour to our shift – we have to put it all away. This also results in food waste as we have to dispose of frozen/chilled items if they've been out too long.

And we just watch them walk out with a smirk like they just pulled off a casino heist. No, you piece of shit, we knew from the moment you walked in what you were doing, we know what you stole and where you squirreled it away, we know where you dumped the packages, we know what car you drive (it's nicer than any of ours), and we are well enough plugged in to this town to get your name and address within 5 minutes if it would be worth the effort. If you really wanna take advantage of this zeitgeist and steal, you can skip all those extra steps, walk straight up to the shit you want, put it in your pocket, and walk out.

Last week one of our “regulars” broke several bottles of wine to distract us so they could steal. We're people too, and we just wanna get through our day. We have to look through each other's bags on our way out the door because as employees we're reminded on a daily basis that we as a category are responsible for most shrink and therefore guilty of theft by default unless proven innocent. We put in daily lifetimes of bleak, soul-sucking shifts at what is often the only job that will hire us. And then some fuckleberry comes in and breaks stuff and watches us grab the mops so he can steal a fucking tube of $2.25 superglue or something.

We're in here making virtually no money and folks come in here, openly steal, add hours to our workload, and just sneer at us. If we dare to approach them we are not infrequently threatened with violence or an outburst. Most confronted shoplifters just GTFO and stay away for a few weeks – but more and more are bold enough to escalate.

We get blamed for not doing enough to stop theft even though we aren't officially allowed to intervene. If we don't respond at all, it quickly spirals out of control and we get the blame. Which means we do have to confront the repeat offenders.

These encounters are not the detain-you-at-the-door situations – more like we'll walk by with packaging you've stolen from. Or we'll casually remind you not to forget that you have X item in your pocket.

This is us doing you a favor by letting you know you tried to commit a minor crime, you fucked it up, and now you get to walk away without punishment. This is not a moment for you to threaten violence. I know, how dare us subhuman service animals get in the way of your supervillainy, but goddamn people, we overlook so much as it is, if you're in here every night and expect us to just keep texting our families we'll be home 20 minutes late again the moment we see you walk in and grab a shopping cart because we know exactly what we're in for… you're just so much more likely to get trouble if you cause us additional stress.

I've been harassed in the parking lot after my shift by people who were dumb enough to pocket shit directly in front of me (and the cameras). Same goes for ladies who immediately start screaming and threaten to sic their tweaker boyfriend on you the moment you suggest, at checkout, that they may have forgotten to give you the 20 store brand makeup items clearly visible, still in the packaging, in their wide-open purse. What do you think happens to us when LP is watching remotely and they see us ringing you up with a Corporate-Mandated-Smile(tm) while you're openly stealing from the store? You're not giving us a choice – they'll come down on us for ignoring it, or worse, they'll assume we're in on it.

We've got someone who has been written up for not “deterring theft by providing excellent customer service” because someone walked out with a full cart on her watch. She's got 3 kids and worries she may lose her job if she doesn't in some way interact with blatant shoplifters. So she feels she has to put herself in dangerous situations because someone wants free shit and knows there are few personal consequences for them, and might even be a welcome opportunity to blow off some steam if they're caught. It's not right. It's ultimately the company's fault for not providing security/real deterrence, but let's not pretend people aren't getting more brazen and, frankly, cruel about what they think they can get away with.

Even without shoplifter encounters, we've got about a 1 in 3 chance per shift of getting verbally assaulted by some Karen or some psychotic triggered MAGA freak for stuff that is utterly outside of our control. Some of us are even carrying mace at this point and that would've been a ridiculous thought only 2 years ago. We don't want these additional confrontations so please try to stop forcing us to have them.

If you're just looking to lash out at capitalism and predatory companies, whatever, I get it. I pay for my shit like a sucker, it's how I was raised, but I get it. It's not my shit you're stealing. But please don't make a mess. Don't play games with our sanity. Leave the unnecessary sadism out of it. And don't fuck with Dave, because I'm beginning to suspect he preferred the safety net he had in prison.

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