I would love feedback on handling this situation moving forward.
I’m 40f, I definitely have RBF and people have told me I can be hard to read. I know I overcompensate for this by being overly smiley and chatty at work. Also listening to everyone’s problems, being their therapist. I probably overdo it and honestly this is something I’m working to undo due to the demands on my energy.
The past two months before the holidays we were slammed and I worked myself to burn out with the demands and being accommodating while trying to take care of everyone’s feelings.
Our office was closed for a couple weeks and then I took an additional week off because I was dealing with some health and personal struggles. Not to mention burned out.
The week we got back I was less chatty, trying to focus on my work and catch up. I told my supervisor that I was working through some health issues.
That week there was a morning our Director walked in (my back faces the door) and I was engrossed in work, I looked her way briefly and gave a small smile but didn’t enthusiastically wave and say hello. I could tell from her body language that she was thrown off.
There were only three days that we were in the office that week. The next week I was working from home most of it due to illness. The day I came in was the day I left with a fever.
The week after I was mostly feeling fine and back to normal. My supervisor sat me down for “professional feedback”. He said that “several people” had come to him concerned about my “general demeanor”. Because I wasn’t my usual chipper self.
I asked him for specific examples and he could not give me any. I asked if I had done something specifically upsetting and he said no. He said that he thought it stemmed from people not being able to read me. I asked if it was general feedback and he said just since the holidays. He mentioned “team culture” and “buy-in”. I asked what specific changes to my behavior were being expected of me and he struggled to answer and then told me to just “be more mindful of body language”, “smile more” and consider telling our executive director more details of my personal life because she is an intuitive person who can sense when something is different. It seemed like it was mostly coming from her and the only instance I can think of is the one I mentioned above.
My male coworker barely talks to anyone. He slouches down so that he doesn’t have to say hi when people walk in. People mostly leave him alone.
I’m trying to figure out what to do here but the whole thing feels like BS. Especially since none of these people came to me directly with any of their specific concerns.
Thoughts?