I am the part-time (hourly) in-house bookkeeper for a small outdoor living space contracting company for the past 6 months. I accepted the job because it fit with my family needs and running my seasonal farming business.
The office manager, we'll call “Chel”, is a woman in her mid 50's and is by far the longest employed person at the company and most trusted by the owners. She's already had a history of absolute catiness since I started. These behaviors include passive aggressive comments, making snarky comments at me after I'm already helping her, bullying, intimidating, and ostracizing the operations manager (who was also a recent hire). Pressuring other's to be hateful towards the ops manager “Kat”.. Chel would get more aggressive with me for defending Kat, not joining in on talking behind her back, and for trying to include Kat in activities. Wow that list got so long! I've spent a good bit of effort bending over backwards trying to stay on Chel's good side in ways that didn't involve being terrible to Kat. She has a lot of great redeeming qualities, but she's VERY capable of being a real Gumball Twaterson.
Anyway, now I've invoked Chel's ire.
At the end of January Chel, volunteered me to begin working as an office assistant and begin taking her sales phonecalls during meetings. These meetings occur on days I am not usually in the office per my employment contract. The operations manager, “Kat”, informed Chel I would not be on board with it, but Chel decided to pull me into her office and show me a few pages of wall-of-text phone script in a massive sales binder anyways. I was not part of the conversation where this was decided at all. I told her I didn't want to do sales calls and it made me uncomfortable; but I could try learn to help out with it. (Mistake.) I reminded her setting up my business will take a lot of my time for a moment.
This ~10 minutes of talking and showing me a binder at the end of the day before she went on vacation was apparently my training.
When she came back a week later, she had somehow developed every expectation that I begin taking all her phonecalls during meetings and anytime she was out. The only times I would even be in the office during these days are if there are emergencies or the first week of the month during reconciliation time, both I am incredibly busy during. I ask her every day for a few weeks straight if she needed help or if we were going to train.
The first full week of February after returning, she asked me if I wanted to answer some phonecalls as she's heading into a meeting. I told her “not really, but I can try”. She looked irritated and stalked off. The first call came in while I'm on the phone busy doing my job so I miss it. The second call cames in and it's a materials supplier and important call. I passes the message onto Chel as she's stepping out to use the shitter. She asked me excitedly ” are you actually answering the phones?!” but I'm autistic and didn't understand the tone of sarcasm in her voice until she got angry with me for responding honestly; “yeah most of them”. Idk why but I kinda expected some positive reinforcement for pushing my comfort zone on something I have no training in and didn't want to do in the first place. I have no problem taking messages, but I have no business answering sales, code, and project questions… And taking messages wasn't good enough.
Chel began complaining about my effort on the phones to other coworkers in the office. It's a small barn-dominium and we'll just say noises carry very well. Chel always blasts the same 2010's country music playlist of ~50 songs so they can drown out private managerial conversations; but it's more often so Chel can drown out her incessant shit talking and complaining.
I tried to not take it personally, though Chel already has a history of making inappropriate comments about myself (my body, my clothes, my relationship, personal trauma we shared but she weaponized), that were indirect/overheard. She makes inappropriate comments about other employees behind their back often.. like baseless accusations of cocaine use based on an employee having allergies and sniffling too much to her liking. It just seems to be the culture.
With Chel acting terrible and my work caught up, it was a perfect time to start getting things set up for my side business. My work was aware of this need when they hired me, and I reminded them again and had their blessings. This bothered Chel, who I overheard over Florida Georgia Line, complaining to the husband owner that I was leaving early and not answering her calls…. Though she hadn't ever bothered to give me any further training or expectations and got ugly with me for the effort I did make. I leave to handle my business again after my work is done.
I came in the next week (mid Feb) to find I had been audited by the previous bookkeeper who they pay to scrutinize me occasionally, make sure I'm not fucking up the books and whatnot. Something minor entered by another party was off. I didn't realize how insignificant of a correction it was at first, so I was anxious about it. While I'm fixated on QuickBooks, Chel strolls over with a big stack of papers a little too happily. I'm hyper fixated on the damn task, but Chel winding her arm up catches my attention. Before I could react, Chel brought the stack of papers swinging into my shoulder/neck area with a loud THWACK! I was in complete shock and just managed to sheepishly choke out “Please don't hit me like that” and she just says “okay”. It may have been a thick stack of papers, but it didn't not hurt. I am then treated like a kettle-stirrer pariah by her and her clique for laying down what I feel is a reasonable personal boundary about not being physically assaulted at work. I leave the moment my work is done after struggling to not spiral into a complete panic episode.
Chel has asked me question after inappropriate question about myself and my past, and I answered honestly when I should have said “That's none of your fucking business”, but I felt intimidated to not answer the office manager's questions when I was new. The point I'm making is that Chel is well aware I have dealt with physical abuse in my childhood and domestic abuse in my adulthood.
After I left that day I let the operations manager Kat know what happened and that I'm not getting bullied into doing what Chel wants, and I draw the line at getting physical. I continue with setting up my small farming operation for the season, thinking that is that.
The next week, Chel is back to complaining about me behind my back to everyone but myself, even though I am sitting 20 feet away and can catch most of what they are saying. She selectively remembers the events leading up to now. She enjoys doing this in her office that is also where the printer and scanner I need to do my job is. There's been some awkward altercations and Chel gets aggressive and questions why I need to go in there any time I try to do anything. Any activity that I need in her office for has gotten incredibly uncomfortable. Fun fact: any little activity I do gets questioned: “What do you need? Can I help you? Why are you five minutes early? Didn't you go to the bathroom a few hours ago? Do you even drink coffee? Why don't you ever bring a real lunch to eat? When are you guys going to have kids? Why do you need a lunch break?”-Yes, we had to fight for lunch breaks. No, she does not make that much she should want to work that hard.
Anyways, after a few weeks of working only 14-16 hours and still getting everything done, I had heard Chel complaining about me on 4 separate occasions; so im low-key wondering how hard she was going when I wasn't there.
I come in early the next day to take a poop in the toilet downstairs in the garage. I overhear Chel and her two cliques saying some pretty inappropriate things about Kat and myself. As soon as I flush the toilet and they are aware I'm there, the talking stops, footsteps shuffle, and that god damned 2010's country playlist comes on before they resume.
I talk with Kat again about all the bullshit I've been putting up with from Chel. The following Monday I am working on reconciling an important account and they are have a meeting where Chel is once again complaining about me without me in the room. She begins crying and using the “family” guilt trip. “We're like FAMILY and you check in to make sure your family is good!” Owner husband agrees to hire a temporary office person for the busy season. Everyone but Kat has been giving me the third degree and making aggressive comments. The owner wife does nothing for the company except often comes upstairs and makes inappropriate comments about everyone because she thinks she's fitting in but really she's setting the culture of toxicity and being mean girls. She came in that day and was loudly and pettily complaining to Chel that (in reference to me) “she's unhappy because she's in charge of her own life.” and “at least you know you can't count on your team!”
I am in the office tomorrow and I can't help but feel like I might be getting fired because of the toxicity and bullying I'm still enduring. All because I threw up some boundaries. I've never been fired before in my life. I used to pride myself on it, but I'm realizing I've eaten a lot of doodoo in the name of work. Maybe getting fired from here would be a great place to start.