Good afternoon everybody,
Throwaway account here, for reasons that will become obvious.
Earlier today, I made the mistake of asking for advice about my situation in another subreddit full of HR people. As I should have expected, they were very insensitive and rude about the responses they gave me. I hope that the users here will be more kind.
I work in Michigan, and have multiple serious psychiatric disabilities that have hospitalized me in the past. I have an excellent psychiatrist and therapist, so no worries there.
Recently, my partner and I have been discussing getting married eventually – we want to live together for a while first, to make very sure that we’re compatible in a shared living space.
The issue is that she lives in a different city, and I would have a very long commute after moving in with her if I kept my current job. I feel like between my disabilities (which, by their nature, remote work would be of more assistance with than any other accommodation), the need to move, and the fact that my job is clearly able to be done remotely: it only makes sense to at least ask to switch to remote work so that I can keep my job and the benefits I rely on to access continued lifesaving medical care.
The reaction I got on that subreddit when I asked for advice (thankfully using another throwaway account) on how to maximize my chances of getting my request granted were…less than sympathetic. Only two bothered to give me any advice on strategy, and those two pieces of advice were diametrically opposed. After trying to reason with the forming gaslighting brigade unsuccessfully, I opted to delete my post and seek advice elsewhere. The last straw was the person who issued the rather heartless and out-of-touch “If you’re too sick to keep working, that’s what SSDI is for.”
Do you guys think I would be more likely to convince HR to grant my request through a reasonable accommodation angle, an appeal to their sense of fairness (from a corporation, I know…), or just cut my losses and get a letter from my doctor to establish good cause so that I can still collect unemployment while I look for a new job? There are two other employees at my job that I would argue have similar situations, who have been working almost entirely remotely.
There is a very accomplished lawyer who returned my call after I explained the details of my situation, but to be honest I had an anxiety attack while I was trying to return his message. I’d rather avoid a legal battle, as my doctor has repeatedly advised over the years to minimize stress in an effort to prevent another episode requiring hospitalization, but I’m not completely ruling it out either.
If I have to cut my losses and leave, I am in a position to do so – my partner makes a generous living and is willing to assist financially, though I don’t want to freeload.
Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated, as I know I’m probably facing an uphill battle.
Thank you for your time.