A short bit of context: I have held a few excellent positions at companies which are hardcore, iron-fist about “no references may be provided” by peers, managers or anyone other than HR. If these companies find out you have provided a professional reference it is grounds for immediate dismissal.
Due to that, and due to being a quiet worker who just gets shit done with zero office politics involved, I have never requested someone act as a reference for me, nor kept their information to use as a reference. Recruiters absolutely hate this. I have passed on roles with strict reference requirements by telling the recruiter it's not an atmospheric fit for me if they can't move forward without references.
Am I choosing a weird hill to die on? Do any of you have tips for a tactful way to refuse the reference request?