I’m a millennial and I am so tired…so incredibly fucking tired. I fucked up in my early 20s…got in a relationship with an older man and got addicted to drugs. In 2019, right before I turned 26, I turned my life around and quit drugs. I was what you’d call a “functioning addict” because I somehow was able to always hold down a job when I was using. Anyway, fast forward to now; I’m going to be 30 in a few months and I cannot get ahead, I simply cannot. I have some college under my belt, I’m a semester shy from completing an associate’s but there’s no point in me finishing. I was studying human services and there’s no fucking money in that field. Even if I finish and go on to get my bachelor’s, all the jobs I see pay basically what I could make at Dunkin Donuts and there’s so much stress involved in those human service jobs that it’s not even worth my time or effort. I’ve bounced around between so many jobs in the last two years or so because I refuse to be treated like a piece of shit. I’m so fucking mad at myself for the mistakes I made when I was younger…had I not gotten into drugs I would have stayed living at my parent’s house, gone to school for something else, and saved mad money while living with them. I currently live alone in a small one bedroom apartment and I can barely afford to fucking be alive. I’m debating on not even showing up to my job tomorrow….the job I’ve had for only a month. My boss treats me like total shit, I only get one 15 minute break if I’m lucky and my boss counts the time it takes me to make my food as apart of my break so realistically I only get to take a 10 minute break, or shorter, if I do decide to eat.
I’ll get up and work and do what I gotta do to pay my bills and shit, but I am fucking sorry, bitch got me fucked up if she thinks I’m going to come in everyday to be berated and condescended for every little thing I do that she perceives as “incorrect” (see: micromanaging). I’m not asking for much, I’m simply asking for a job where I can come in and work a solid schedule and make enough money to exist while also being treated with dignity and respect. This fucking bitch denied me a bathroom break today as well…a fucking bathroom break to take a quick piss!!
Anyway, I don’t even know what else to say. I just needed to fucking rant. I’m so tired of what seems to be an endless abyss of bullshit and maltreatment. I’m sure some of you can relate, maybe minus the whole drug thing.