Depression isn't new to me and historically I've been pretty open about it in the workplace.
After a recent pet death, I've been left devastated and deeply depressed. While I've been depressed in the past, my pet was always my biggest source of support (she wasn't an official ESA but she definitely met the definition).
Struggling with depression stemming from her death without her here to help comfort me has made depression even harder, despite it being managed through meds and therapy.
All of this to say that I am really struggling and I know it's bleeding through in my work where I already was struggling a bit.
Now that I'm older and 7 years out from my first depressive episode while in the workplace, I am much more cautious about not oversharing. I overshared everything in my first workplace depressive episode (different job than this one) and it was pretty unprofessional.
I'm genuinely at a loss of what I should do – disclosing to my boss poses the risk of discrimination (I don't think she would intentionally discriminate but we live in a capitalist hell hole), but I know my performance is really bad right now and I'm worried that by not disclosing, that poor performance will be used against me.
Since I have a history of oversharing, it's still in my nature to want to share and disclose with careful messaging. It feels like both options suck especially since at the end of the day all I want to do is blow everything off and sleep.
I wish pet bereavement was a thing, but even then she died a month ago this coming friday – most people only get a few days of bereavement.
My pet was my whole world, my best friend, my roommate – and yet I'm still shocked by how much her death has uprooted my mental health.