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Antiwork

Self-employed and I don’t want to be

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I'm starting to feel like I'm in crisis. Seven years ago I started my own business, and I hate it. Its an appointment based business where I travel to my clients in about a 2 hour radius and do my work on site. I work in the agricultural sector, and my skill set is very niche. The actual work is ok and I'm good at it but every other aspect of running a business, networking, traveling, bookkeeping, managing my schedule overwhelms me to the point where I can't make myself do it anymore. A year ago I started applying to apprenticeship programs to try and get into the trades. I want to learn something new, I want to focus on a technical skill without the distractions that come with all of the other stuff that I'm doing,…


I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I'm starting to feel like I'm in crisis.

Seven years ago I started my own business, and I hate it. Its an appointment based business where I travel to my clients in about a 2 hour radius and do my work on site. I work in the agricultural sector, and my skill set is very niche. The actual work is ok and I'm good at it but every other aspect of running a business, networking, traveling, bookkeeping, managing my schedule overwhelms me to the point where I can't make myself do it anymore. A year ago I started applying to apprenticeship programs to try and get into the trades. I want to learn something new, I want to focus on a technical skill without the distractions that come with all of the other stuff that I'm doing, and I want to be able to leave my work at work. Right now a lot of work is on my cell phone which is on my person every moment of every day. I've technically gotten into a couple of programs, and they tell me to wait to be called up for work and assure me it will happen shortly. But its not happening, I don't know why.

So for the past year I have been waiting anxiously for a phone call letting me start a new career, and not chasing down clients very hard for my current business because I want to close it. So this holding pattern has burnt me out big time, the juxtaposition of “I hate this” and “today could be the day that I get that call!” is so hard and now I'm feeling some major financial strain. I am tired, I am going broke, what can I do to get out of this cycle?

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