Hey Reddit, I’d appreciate opinions on 1) whether my annoyance is justified and 2) how to keep things cordial so that I make a good impression on our boss and our team!
I started a new position at the same employer a couple weeks ago. All employees work a 50/50 split schedule of WFH and office. My new role is in a different building than my former, and in my former I had my own cubicle. In my new role, unfortunately I have to share a desk with a coworker (I’ll call her Jane) on my team. Our supervisor (Mary) hopes it’s temporary while they finish some construction in the building but it might not be. But hopefully so!!!
I’m a millennial, Jane is a Boomer and Mary is Gen X because that might matter. Mary gave me a heads up a month before I started that I’d be sharing desks with Jane.
Two weeks before my first day, I emailed Jane and introduced myself, said I’d be bringing an external monitor, and let her know she’s welcome to use anything else I bring for the desk as well as the monitor. I have an eye accommodation on file for the monitor with HR but there are plenty of hot desks with external monitors I can use too, so it’s not crucial that I can always sit at the shared assigned desk.
Jane replied to me and said she always either uses hot desk space at our main office OR uses hot desks at satellite office closer to her home, and thinks our cubicle is too dark without any natural light so she doesn’t really use it, so “do whatever you want” (quote is exact words).
When I arrived for day one, Jane left a handwritten note for me welcoming me to the team and again said “do whatever you want.” She wasn’t there Monday, she worked somewhere else.
Tuesday we had an all-staff meeting for 3/4 the day so everyone was at the main office but only for like 2 hours max. I got there around 7:30, and Jane arrived more like 9:00 and the meeting was at 9:45 so like…45 min where maybe she needed to use the shared desk but said nothing to me? She used drop in space for a few while we were both there.
Wednesday I was at the office again, and Jane showed up at like 11 am and was like “oh you’re here” and sounded super annoyed. I brushed it off. But then Thursday morning (which I WFH) I got a kinda nasty email from Mary about the desk sharing and that I need to make a schedule of days with Jane and reminding me it’s not my own desk. I’m thinking that Jane said “do what I want” TWICE and said she prefers to go to a different office or use our drop in space when she is in our main office so I’m thinking “…” and it was also pretty obvious that she went back to Mary and TATTLED on me for being at work and sitting at the desk on Wednesday?!?! Because I wouldn’t receive an email like that if not. I ended up forwarding Mary the other email between Jane and I where Jane stated her usual location habits and told me “do what you want” 🤷️ just to make sure Mary knows I’m not rolling in here being rude AF and taking over.
So I emailed Jane and apologized if I misunderstood “do what you want” since she had emailed that plus hand wrote it, and suggested making a schedule. She replied and said it’s impossible to make a schedule bc meetings we have no control over pop up all the time so she never knows where she’ll be, but we can take it week by week, we just can’t commit to ALWAYS being there on specific opposite days so we don’t conflict.
Anyway, today (Friday), Jane emailed me today about her schedule for next week and stating when she needs the desk and CCed Mary on it.
My question: is it really that necessary to CC our supervisor on something as minor as DESK SCHEDULING moving forward or…? I’m just kind of floored by this whole thing TBH and it makes me hate Boomers in the workplace even more than I already do. I’ve never had a fellow millennial coworker say one thing, do another, then tattle like I’m the bad guy here which is essentially what’s happened here. It doesn’t mean Millennials never tattle but it personally has never happened to me.
I believe a millennial wouldn’t handle it this way, they’d probably address it directly with me without bringing in a boss. I can see involving Mary if Jane talked to me and things didn’t work out, but not out the gate.
I plan on WFH on her office days and I’ll go in on her WFH days, and defer to her schedule when planning WFH for myself. If I do have to be there when she is, I can hot desk. It’s truly not a big deal and never was. We shared outlook calendars with each other, too. So I think we are good but it appears she’s going to include Mary on desk-related emails moving forward as if the assumption is I’ll ignore them.
I’m just…would you guys be super annoyed too? I don’t need a supervisor involved here. To me, it’s not a conflict. It’s just a “hey I need to be there X day, let’s plan ahead” you know? Jane is behaving like a desk is the Treaty of Versailles or something.
Any tips on how I can deal with this professionally? I always get so annoyed having to work with boomers but this situation takes the cake. They’re so rigid and assume the worst about other professionals in the workplace. Sorry Boomers but this isn’t my first rodeo with a non-issue being made into an issue by a coworker boomer over the years. 🤷️