Hi all. I started a job 6.5 months ago and everything on the surface seemed to be great. It was in the city I grew up in and had a decent salary. Also, the workplace implemented a permanent work from home policy so it appeared that the workplace encourages a flexible schedule. Or so it seemed. The red flags quickly surfaced.
I realized my boss has been slowly making my work and even my life outside of work miserable. Essentially, she is a impatient micromanaging workaholic who has an explosive and unstable temper. Here are six attributes of her management style that has slowly been eroding my sanity.
- She is rarely to praise and quick to criticize. You could do 9 out of 10 things perfectly and she will yell at you and rant for a good 5 minutes about how you did that one thing incorrectly, even if it's a minor mistake that can easily be corrected and has minimal impact on the outcome. During many one on ones, I get reminded of how I made a small mistake 1 week ago and this one sided battering consumes the majority of the meeting. It becomes a rant session. Additionally, there are only 2 outcomes when I receive a slack message from her: get yelled at for a minor mistake or get assigned ad-hoc work. Instinctively, I panic every time I see a message from her. I've also learned I am doing a good job if I don't receive messages from her.
- She is extremely impatient. As part of my job involves customer support, if I don't jump to a request that comes in within 3 minutes, I will get tagged by my manager to get it done immediately in a threatening tone. This has happened while I was taking a lunch break. What was I supposed to do? Stop eating and tend to it immediately? This applies to other areas. If I don't respond to her Slack message within 10 minutes, I get yelled at. She expects us to be available 24/7
- She never takes vacation and expects the rest of the team to follow suit. I decided to take a day off after 3 months of not taking any vacation because I was dead tired by that point. Of course, I had to get assigned a sudden ad-hoc task at 5:15pm on the day before this day off that it is due on my day off. Luckily a coworker who saw the thread mentioned that I will not be working that day. Got saved by my coworker but this event left a very bitter taste in my mouth. Do I not deserve even 1 day off after months of working my ass off? Similarly, another coworker of mine got blasted for taking “too many” days off despite it being within their accrued PTO days.
- I never get any support or empathy from her. When my internet went out one day, I got condescendingly told to switch my internet service provider. This was the first time my internet went out after nearly 6 months of having no issues while I was working there. Even if it was a joke, it was in such poor taste. Do you think I want to have my internet fail? Another time, I was at the dentist. I informed the team I will be OOO with a dentist appointment well ahead of time. Didn't make a difference. When I was at my appointment. I got blasted with angry Slack messages from my boss for certain issues that popped up at work, some of which wasn't even my fault. I told her I'm at the dentist office and that I will fix them once I get back to my desk. The response was “I don't care. Fix it NOW!”
- She likes to throw ad-hoc tasks in your direction with unreasonable deadlines. I remember on one morning, I was thrown something that was due at the end of the day, which was on top of my usual responsibilities. I skipped lunch and almost risked a UTI because I was only able to afford 1 bathroom break to finish the task. Barely got it done within her arbitrary deadline. Best of all, when I requested help, I was told to suck it up, work faster and solve it like a real grown up. This supports the fourth point of receiving no support ever.
- Here is the worst part. Her expectations shift like the wind. 2 weeks ago, I was told I was doing a great job and even got nominated and invited to a football game paid by my company, the guest list reserved for good performers. Then, yesterday, I was criticized during the entire one on one, as if I went from doing well to being a liability on the team within two weeks. I don't believe my performance could actually tank that quickly, given I was not changing much of what I was doing in that period. I don't know what to expect from her anymore. One day, I could be praised and then get yelled at for doing the exact same thing the next day. It's like opening a kinder surprise. You don't know what to expect from her anymore.
While the pay and benefits are decent, I can't deal with this anymore. I'm basically a dead person walking right now. My emotional health has nosedived significantly, as I now get frequent panic attacks and I've been losing more hair these days. I'd rather take a lower paying job and get the hell away from her. Am I being a snowflake or is it normal to hate your job and even life in such a work environment? Plus it's only 6.5 months since I started, so I'm worried resigning will raise concerns with future employers as my work history will appear jumpy. I've worked in previous jobs where I've stayed for much longer and have good references from there so I hope this cancels out the previous point. Please provide your opinions on my situation. I will really appreciate it!