Someone said that in a comment and to be honest, I am already there. (Ramble incoming, apologies)
Why would I WANT to live if I have to work myself to the bone just so I have the CHANCE at sleeping somewhere decent? Or so I can have access to clean water (unclean water in lots of places in the US too)? Or food that isn't heavily processed and packed full of harmful additives?
I literally just want to LIVE. I don't need super fancy extra shit. I literally just want to be able to live. And I think I should be able to do that without giving my life away to some company whose executives get to get paid 100x more than I ever will for (often) 100x less work and stress.
I have horrible anxiety and depression. It is already very difficult for me to fucking live even when I have days that I literally have nothing to do. I have learned that I genuinely CANNOT do most public jobs because of those ailments, and every time there is another shooting here it gets harder for me to even get the courage to go somewhere alone out of fear.
I am very lucky to be in the privileged position I am in currently with my living situation. I can 100% say that if I did not live with my parents, I would be dead. It has been weeks since I left my job due to my depression and anxiety and I have gone through so much mental anguish about finding a new one. This is because I simply cannot function properly when doing work in public. Almost all of the WFH jobs I have seen either don't reply, are asking for very specific and extravagant qualifications I don't have, or are customer service (which is where most of my anxiety from working in the public comes from).
I honestly don't know what to do. My parents are pushing me more every day to find a job, they are even finding options for me (non-WFH jobs because they think they are “real” jobs). I do not know how to go about telling them just how bad my anxiety and depression is in relation to public jobs because they are both conservative “hard work breeds success” type of people who complain about others not wanting to work or being lazy. I know that my situation is neither of those, but could easily be seen as such from their viewpoint. For more context, they don't really understand mental illnesses or believe they are as serious as they are until the consequences for belittling it hits them in the face – I know this from experience.
My current plan is that within the next 3 years I will hopefully be able to move to Germany to be with my boyfriend who lives there. The issue is getting a job that I am comfortable with so I can earn the money needed for the process of moving.
Please, if anyone has any information on WFH jobs or other things that I can check out it would be so truthfully appreciated. I am struggling and I genuinely need help.
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Also, I would like to add that I am currently going to a counselor (who is amazing) for my mental illnesses and, yes, I have discussed my struggle with jobs with her. And just in case anyone who reads this thinks this way… Yes, my struggle with mental illnesses is very real and yes, it is just as difficult for me to work in public as I have said it is. I am not being “overdramatic” or “blowing things out of proportion”. I have been told those types of comments too many times to count and I am sick of it.