I'm on secondment since Sept 22 until June. My role involves working on a project to deliver research on X topic for local businesses. I have a research background but my experience is in Y topic. I applied for the role as genuinely thought I could make it work and would be supported to do so.
The previous post holder did very little while in the role despite having the right experience and credentials to deliver. We have targets ~this is important~ and because they did so little work, I'm in the position of making these targets. I'm having to due a huge ton of background work to write the reports we deliver to businesses because none of this is my academic specialism. The targets are non negotiable (this is a gov funded contract, targets set at the start of the project and no way to change them now three months before we close out).
I should add that this role was only advertised internally once the previous post holder left, and I was the only applicant from across the University. I am now realising that they only gave the role to me as I'm known for being extremely conscientious and getting things done, I wish I hadn't been so naive at the point of application and thinking that this would be a good thing for my own development.
I am approaching burn out. I can't focus, I'm anxious all the the time etc etc. I want to exit the role or take some time out but my partner and I are in the middle of buying a house and we live in a low productivity area. No option to go elsewhere right now.
I feel trapped. All of this is a trap.
If I go off sick it's going to create issues for my colleagues. I tried mentioning how I'm feeling to one of them yesterday and they weren't exactly supportive so I don't know why I care.
To make my situation even more complicated, once this secondment finishes in June, I will be moving to a new permanent role within the same department. This role is much more aligned to my interests and capabilities and I feel like things will improve once I start. However, I just don't know how to manage these interim months as I feel trapped, anxious and I could just don't have it in me to deliver what is needed. I feel like I am wiping up the mess left by other people and it's going to cost me my health (edited from house) and that makes me so sad and angry.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting here. If anyone has any words of wisdom and similar situation, I'd really appreciate your insight.