I worked for this small business. I quit back in December 2022.
Prior, that it happened in October 2022. I had to call my boss (owner of the business) that I can't come to work that day as I have to go to the police station to relort an incident. I'm not in mental state of mind because I almost got abducted upon commuting to work. I didn't want to tell her what happened but I was crying and panicking. She insisted to know what happened so I shared her I almost got abducted. She let me not come to work that day.
After few days, my work had a dinner night, ironically to celebrate me and my manager's birthday. In the conversation, my boss was making me uncomfortable. She showing favoritism to that one co-worker I have, how they should be besties, how my boss looks at her Instagram stories etc. Then jokes about Abductions. I was kinda uncomfortable. It was a passing thought to her but the fact she knows something like that happened to me and jokes about it around me, upsets me. If she didn't know I almost got abducted, I would still be uncomfortable but won't mind because she doesn't know.
I was gonna confront her over that after the dinner to tell her, but I didn't want my co-workers to know what happened to me as I am uncomfortable about that.
I waited 3 days because I had other really stressful things to do. So I called her after 3 days and texted her, I said, “Hi (boss name), can I schedule a time to discuss something that happened on dinner. I'm free 1:30 pm to 6:00 pm today.” She replied, “can you be brief about this “something”. I didn't know what to say so I said, “you mentioned something last tuesday to (co-workers name) about something that upsets me. If I can talk to you whenever you are free. But my availability today is above this text.”
I can't call her that time because I was working. But after 1 minute she called me. And she called interrogating me in a louder tone “what did I say? Huh? What did I say?” I got startled. She proceeded, “I don't understand why you have to wait 3 days to tell me these things! I don't even remember them, and the longer you keep these, the more resentments are built up and I can't find a reason to argue with you. ”
I said, “You mentioned something that upset me.” She interrupted, “is it the introvert? The this and that blah blah blah” I said, “yes no wait. I don't think it's the right time to talk right now.”
She said, “the fact that you texted me, you want to talk to me.” I said, “I texted you a time frame when to talk to you.” She yelled in an interrogating way, “why huh? Why? Where are you?” I said, “I'm scheduled to work at your shop today. And I don't think it is the right time to talk.” She proceeds to talk, “I kept telling you to tell me and not wait. You did this again and waited 3 days! You don't know how to communicate!” I started getting panic attack and froze. Then she kept yelling, “I don't it is the right time to talk to you. You need to chill out! Chill out!!” She hanged the phone.
It got me too panicked I became in some sort of trance I called whoever is and said goodbye. I was not in the right mind, I just walked out of the shop, and almost committed suicide. The person luckily I called is my boyfriend. It really upset him.
Then next week, my manager texted my boyfriend asking how to communicate with me and blaming me that my boss is frustrated because she doesn't know what upsets me.
I told my bf she sounded interrogating and kept interrupting and yelling at me so she never get to hear what upset me. She was just mad at me.
I waited 6 months in the past because I don't know them. But too much micromanaging, constant yelling, thereatening to fire me for little things at one point made me say something. My boss did told me to tell her as early as I can and set a time if telling her right away does not work. So that's what I did. I waited for a right time. Right time where emotions subside so we can both be professionals and use logic on this matter. I waited 3 days because that's the right schedule that I know for both of us work.
We talked (I'm not even paid to talk to them) and they included my boyfriend who have no clue what's happening to me professionally. My boss was just being argumentative. I told her to I followed what you need me to do in terms of communication. She said, next time tell the manager if you wanna say something to get pass through earlied. I said, “first you told me to tell the person directly so there's no lost game of telephone that happens.” Second, it is a personal matter. I dont feel comfortable to talk about abduction that might sound humiliating to you.” She just arguing like an idiot.”
That conversation just made my boyfrined think the workplace is a joke. And the boss seem not professional enough to handle a business. She sounded so insecure, so self centered, and lacks boundaries. The fact she included me your personal life into this.