The past year has been the best year of my life. I met my fiancée, we both understand and respect each others mental health and support each other, we have 3 cats and although it’s terrible that his grandma passed he was lucky enough to get a small inheritance to use as a house deposit (Let’s be honest without a leg up like that there would be no chance of any of us being able to afford a home). Anyway I’m on some pretty strong antipsychotics and I have a relatively good job that I do remotely. I get to sit in my spare room with my plushies. Although the 5 days a week 8 hours a day is draining I get Sundays off and every second Saturday. Today I booked in my holidays for 2023. I have 43 paid vacation days plus public holidays off and sick leave if I need it.
I do get the angry Karen from time to time being a customer service role, and although the wage is low for the UK I know it’s a lot more compared to the USA.
We have access to basic healthcare but bills and cost of living is going up, and while I’m able to see a psychiatrist it’s a bit of a wait, but I’m thankful it’s accessible and available.
While I stress about things like interest rates, the mortgage and power bills I can still afford to treat myself every now and then to a new Pokémon toy or a cute dress.
With some better management of my medications and maybe some electromagnetic transcranial therapy I might just actually enjoy life for once.
What I want to say is that things will change, even if you don’t think they will. I’ve tried to kill myself before but I’m glad for once that I didn’t. You will too.