I’ve been thinking about this a lot, especially after leaving my last job in higher ed. Basically: my new job has double the pay of my last and great insurance, and my team loves me and I love working with them and… it still feels off.
I left higher ed this past year after an increasing about of stress and disappointment in the upper admin (lots of white liberal posturing and I realized quickly that as a Black queer person I had to be ‘palatable’ to white cishet people to get anywhere).
In my new job (keeping some details close to the chest) I have more respect, but each day I just wake up like… this is what I have to do for 8 hours? Or more?
I notice my teammates regularly working past time and that’s a red flag for me, because it looks like poor imbalance despite support. Our client work has also been increasingly frustrating, and annoyances bother me. After my last role, I’d rather zero discomfort than any, or at least discomfort that feels tolerable and short lived. I just don’t see myself here at a year or past that.
So here I am, ‘our of alignment’, and searching for a job that’s more on my terms (no expectation of overtime, independence, autonomy reflective of my skill, and flexibility to break from the computer and walk around my city).
I brought this here because I’d rather not work at all, but if I’m FORCED to under capitalism, I’m gonna do what I can to be comfy. Fighting feelings of being ‘ungrateful’ for what I have, and would like some input. And not all of Reddit gives good advice (so I’d rather not hear ‘suck it up’ or ‘just stick it out because it’s a job’). I want to be happy, whole, and fulfilled and I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
So… thoughts? Guidance? Commiseration? Trying to find my way out the machine, and until I can, I’m prioritizing my happiness and well being.