I accepted a WFH job, it took me months to get hired somewhere, and I desperately need this job. AFTER being hired on day one we're all told we must be on camera for training so they can see we're not sleeping. I have HORRIBLE social anxiety and body dysmorphia. 200 people staring at a zoom screen with my face front and center is a nightmare for me. So I have my camera angled so my face is visible from the nose up unless I lean way forward and then you see my forehead. That's not good enough for them. They can't see all my expressions and posture.
Yesterday was only day 2 and I was already getting private messages that they can't see my full fucking face. Dutch law makers OUTLAWED this kind of thing as being an invasion of privacy but Americans need to be bootlickers just grateful for a job. I won't be able to focus on ANYTHING because I will be so panicked and anxious.
They can see I am watching the screens and not sleeping, that I'm not on the phone, that I'm engaged,. I'm asking questions and answering questions when called on, I'm sharing in the chat, but nope. They MUST stare at my full face every second of the day analyzing every facial expression and making sure I don't dare deviate from perfect posture. Oh yes, they are instructing us on what facial expressions are okay, and that we must have perfect posture all day. There was a 10 minute presentation on what expressions we're acceptable and what posture we could have. NO RESTING CHINS ON HANDS NO LEANING, SIT UP STRAIGHT LOOK AT THE SCREEN, NO YAWNING ON CAMERA… Etc.
I've had severe severe social anxiety since preschool. This is a literal nightmare. I thought participating actively and letting them see part of my face so they can see I'm watching the screens would be enough. There's over 200 people in this class, I honestly don't think I can deal with being fully on camera. I've never had to do that before. It's totally different from a security camera overlooking a whole section of the store. This is a zoom in close up of my full face for 8.5 hours a day displayed to hundreds of people who are LOOKING BACK AT THE SCREEN. Like I am ready to quit over this. I'm shaking and after the message from the co-instructor telling me my camera had to be adjusted by today so they could see my full face, I couldn't focus on the class anymore because all I can think about is people staring at me.
Mind you the instructors don't have to be on camera unless they want to . Like if it's that important make it so only the instructor can see. Why make it so that everyone can watch you? They claim so it's like a real in person class. I've been in live trainings for jobs like this and it's everyone facing the instructor and the instructor at the front of a room, and it was never hundreds of people in the room. People want to work from home because they don't want to be in a huge office of people. It's stupid and invasive and controlling people's facial expressions and even their posture is disgusting.
Please tell me I'm not alone in not wanting a camera on my face 8.5 hours a day?