TLDR: Capitalist logic bullies grieving families.
My wife and I both work in the same place. Last year she lost her mum after a painful battle with kidney cancer, so I took some time off to help her cope and did my best to support her. We lived together as I suggested her mum come stay with us (she was only 55, more for family support) and the plan was to buy a place with a separate little house for her to stay with us. We both came from pretty broken families so I wanted her to have her mum around. They were extremely close and behaved more like sisters sometimes, so the loss hit her pretty bad.
I told her she could take the time she needed, no pressure or rush to return to work.
For context:
I earn well above the average income foe my country and while we are renting a large house, going from triple income to single has only hurt our ability to save, not survive.
However. After the first, I'm going to say week? Most of my colleagues began berating me, asking when she was coming back to work. Why isn't she back yet, life moves on e.t.c.
The shitless part is? Through all my devotion to my wife, I nearly bought into their shit. I genuinely began questioning “how long” should she be allowed to grieve.
It may seem petty or immature, but for me – I hate a system that promotes the shaming of taking the time to heal.
And for anyone who's lost someone, tell work to fuck off. No room for politeness in this field .