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Antiwork

To go in, or not go in

TV: Nuclear scientists have moved the doomsday clock to 2 seconds to midnight. All out nuclear annihilation seems to be inevitable as the US and Russia have come to a standstill on negotiations. We are advising all citizens to stay indoors. Go into your basement or bomb shelter if you are wealthy enough to have one. I will be staying on the air with you until this is all over as my family left me years ago because I didn’t believe in a….so called….work life balance. Joe walks across a living room and picks up phone. He finds a contact and dials it. Phone rings 3x Boss: Hello? Joe: Yeah I’m not gonna make it into work today. Boss: Why not? Joe: Aren’t you watching the news? The world is about to end. Boss: You don’t know that. They don’t know. You can’t believe everything you see on the news.…


TV: Nuclear scientists have moved the doomsday clock to 2 seconds to midnight. All out nuclear annihilation seems to be inevitable as the US and Russia have come to a standstill on negotiations. We are advising all citizens to stay indoors. Go into your basement or bomb shelter if you are wealthy enough to have one. I will be staying on the air with you until this is all over as my family left me years ago because I didn’t believe in a….so called….work life balance.

Joe walks across a living room and picks up phone. He finds a contact and dials it.

Phone rings 3x

Boss: Hello?

Joe: Yeah I’m not gonna make it into work today.

Boss: Why not?

Joe: Aren’t you watching the news? The world is about to end.

Boss: You don’t know that. They don’t know. You can’t believe everything you see on the news.

Joe: Well, I don’t want to risk it. I got kids…ya know?

Boss: Listen, it’s going to be fine we’re all going to be fine. It’s just some democrat hoax, we…

Joe: I’m not coming in.

Boss: You’re not being a team player right now. You think I wouldn’t rather be at home with my kids? They’re down in the bomb shelter right now. Look, just come in and if they actually do launch the nukes then I’ll let everybody go.

Joe: I won’t make it back in time. It’s a 45-minute drive. I kind of want to spend my last day on Earth with my family.

Boss: What about your work family? We need you to.

Joe: ???

Boss: Fine. But if we don’t all die today, you’re getting written up.

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