So I rage quit my last job after being treated like absolute shit by a few coworkers who I can only describe as human cancer and HR doing absolutely nothing to stop it.
I’ve been unemployed for 4 months and it’s amazing how much my mental and physical health has improved. I’ve had depression for over a decade and it finally seems to be lifting. My skin has improved and I look 10 years younger. I’ve written songs, I wrote stories, I’m learning and doing things that are interesting to me. I’ve lost weight, I’ve been outside enjoying nature. I’ve experienced actual happiness just because I’m alive for the first time since I was maybe 10 years old.
But the nagging feeling that I should go back to work is starting up, and every time it does, I can feel the tension coming back into my body, my digestive problems that virtually vanished are coming back, the sallow expression of hatred is returning to my face, and the depression is coming back. Which makes me wonder… why would I do that to myself when I can just move into the wilderness and shoot anyone who tries to stop me? Or piss away what’s left of my money actually enjoying myself for once and killing myself when it’s gone? None of us are getting out of this thing alive anyway and I’m already dead when I’m at work.