This just isn't the life for me. I've never liked working, the thought of having to do this every single week for most of my life makes my heart ache. This doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right to have to be forced to work 8 or more hours just so I won't starve and die in a ditch somewhere.. But at this point that's just what I might do. It saps the joy from me. It saps my will to live. If I could do part time I would. 4 hours isn't so bad… Still makes me depressed but it's manageable. You get in, get out, continue with the rest of your day… Unfortunately I can't do that anymore… I live with my mother and rent with up so she needs my help. Part time money isn't enough my whole paycheck just went straight to bills… I'm 19 I don't want to live with my mother forever… But how am I supposed to move out of working makes me attempt suicide. Maybe I should just try something fail proof. Alcohol and sleeping pills never seem to work…. I have this life. I hate my freedom being taken away from me. I hate it…