To: employee
From: Gilbert Hugh
Due to financial cut-backs, you will now be expected to self-expense all office supplies, including but not limited to: pencils, erasers, pens, paper, stationary, folders, staples, paperclips, brads(?) and photocopies. All parking will now be metered by the hour. Electricity consumption and all telephone charges will be deducted from your paycheck.
The board of directors at insuricare wishes to thank you for you selfless sacrifice through this time of financial uncertainty. It is because of you, the employee, that insuricare has recorded its highest profits in years. Remember a successful company makes for a successful employee(?) —–, a(?) Penny you save is another penny that goes in our profits(?)