Im not gonna keep this post up for long but I wanted to vent about my emotionally draining superior. She is a very nice lady. Very very nice. But I am so drained coddling her emotional high maintenance.
My dad is dying. He has a fungating tumour. Ulcerated through the skin, he has no chin and it is eating his entire jaw. Chunks the size of my finger are falling off my dad's face. It's fuckinf horrific. Needless to say I am drained as it is and coming in here is already draining, but I digress. I am obviously not my normal bubbly self. I am still respectful and friendly of course, I'm just not as chatty as I usually am.
Yesterday, I was asked to update our phone list. I updated the existing one and I have updated it several times before. I feel that when I am feeling low and not the same super outgoing girl I was in the interview, my manager pecks at me all day long. It is the opposite of giving someone space. I have seen her do this to other employees and it upsets them.
Yesterday she asked me to edit the list in a way she has never asked me. I was internally annoyed but I did it because I respect her and I know it's my job.
She seemed to want management at the top. The way I made it, I am at the bottom. I was trying to make sure I had all the other office staff first and then lastly remembered myself.
She then came up to me in TEARS. She said she never meant to imply I should be at the bottom. I told her she did not imply that and I never once took it that way, that I just put myself there cause….someone's name has to be the last?? She kept crying and apologizing. I told her there is no need, not to worry, I'm not offended, I have other stuff going on (she's well aware) but she still kept crying and today she is being off with me.
I know she was upset about thinking she hurt my feelings and I'm flattered, but also annoyed because it's fabricated in her head and ridiculous. I do not attach any self worth to where I land on a phone list. She does this often. It's draining. I feel like my main job is to provide her with constant validation and when I don't have the emotional capacity to do it I face social consequences
I just wanna work from home.