Someone please convince somehow that any of this is worth it. To preface, I am actually hardworking and strive to perfect my role at any company that I am in and understand that we *need* to work in order to keep society and the economy afloat, but since getting laid off in June I have only become more and more depressed about the realities of life. We are expected to work 40+ hours a week for the rest of our lives, give our mind/body/souls to these companies yet the wages are not increasing and it is only becoming more expensive to live. I am 24 and still living at home because despite making 50K at my first job before getting laid off, I was unable to afford my own studio apartment. Literally what is the point? To give my life away and not even be comfortable doing it? Not only are companies not paying enough but employers expect you to go to after work hour events or you’re not a “team player” and this starts to inevitably affect your reputation at work. I am not getting paid enough, my back hurts from sitting in a chair all day, and yet I am not contributing enough because I refuse to give the rest of my evening to my colleagues? I have not mentioned the repetitiveness of it all, the mundanity, the office politics, the toxic managers, and how you are expected to give 200% when a company will literally drop you with no hesitation if they need to.
What makes matters worse is that many people deny this reality, they convince themselves that it really isn’t so bad and gaslight people who feel the same way as I do. Maybe it does work for some, but to look back in 50 years and literally only remember working during that time is so incredibly depressing to me. Did I mention employers aren’t even paying enough? What gives life meaning to me is relationships, adventure, the memories you make with the people you love, enjoying your hobbies without having to monetize off everything. Yet this society denies this and tells us that our worth is based on extrinsic things and our productivity. I am incredibly depressed, unfulfilled and jaded from the realities of our world. It is lonely because we promote this hyper individualistic mindset and label it as independence. There is no community, there is no happiness or free will.
I am still applying for work every day and working on refining my “professional” skill set to maybe have a shot at a decent wage but I am constantly in this state of existential dread, I would not care if I died as the only other option seems to conform to this meaningless way of life, no one has the answers, no one fucking knows anything yet we kid ourselves into thinking that we are content. I am 24 and feel so lost, I don’t know how any of this can get better when life is just about what you produce for someone else. What is the point anymore?