I guess this is extremely sentimental and emotional.
I literally dont see why I should even try to find something, what is even the point.
Without going into too much information and detail I started with a very well paid job with great social benefits, but that job was so boring and mental killing I quit.
Then I did a job I loved, but the salary was near minimum wage, even tho I loved the job it was too demanding to do 40 hours a week, so eventually because of money and some other personal problem I was fired
then jumped into several different kind of job, where most of them I never keep them for more than a year.
Recently I went into a burn out and was sick for nearly 2 months, the job I had killed my brain, my fun because it was extremely boring and long and I had to make the decision of quitting, I was always on the verge of crying and panicking just to go work.
Now im here, 40 years old, no real diploma and there no job I could find that will not eventually kill me mentally, because no matter what, there no chance I will ever find job similar level of pay of the well paid one, at best I could get a big maybe 40k a year, because with no diploma and no relevant experience in anything, you are way too restricted.
When I look at job posting site like Indeed, there like 5 main category
- the warehouse job, either in a factory, like welders and such or sorting facility like amazon or mail
- the customer service slave, retail or some more “advance” with customer support or relation
- desk job, like secretary answering phone or compiling data
- the “sell this shit” job, like marketing, realtor and many “mlm” ideas
- require a skill that you dont have, basically anything there literally no way you could even have a chance to “fight” for, because you have no relevance in the skill they ask.
so really, I dont even know what and how, no matter I will get sick of the job, mainly because its never be paid good enough to fall back again because of not “enough” money