And I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a place to sleep at night, food in my stomach, and no fear of gunshots that riddle neighborhoods less than 30 minutes from here (chicago). Literally if I was born 10 minutes in a different direction my life could have been much worse. That's just in one city. Now expand that to a global scale. I could have been born in bumbfuck Russia and be drinking myself to death right now and working the only job in town that's some factory literally making the air poisonous. So people tell me to shut up and we have it easy. But, life in America has it's own drawbacks. If I have a medical emergency for example I'm kinda fucked. I was out taking a walk the other day and kinda thinking “hope i don't break an ankle that bill would destroy me”. I'm not lazy. I would be me more than willing to work 40 hours of backbreaking work with a grin on my face if it would guarantee my survival and mental well being at this point. But, I”m just wasting my life in 8 hour chunks and barely surviving. I'm past the burnout phase. I day dream of moving somewhere quiet like the opening scene in the shire in fellowship of the rings. Instead it's a constant struggle just to stay alive. Why aren't we past this yet as a species? Why must we have stuff like massive server farms that could pretty much automate everything and yet we force each other into roles we don't want to play? I feel like an actor who got cast for the wrong roll everyday. I show up for work smile and say hello to everybody when secretely I long for the wizard to knock on my door and i host a dinner party for some drunk dwarves and go on an adventrue to fight a dragon. I think there's a reason escapism is so popular. Anyway yeah I'm royally fucking tired of just spending my days on rinse/repeat. There's a huge world out there. I'd like to see some of it. Not gonna happen at this rate though. So it gets worse.