Hi all this is my first time making a post like this so please excuse any bad spelling or anything like that. I just really could do with some advice after a really shit time at work its longer that 8 months now and increasing getting worse.
I F25, Suffer from multiple mental illnesses i.e. severe anxiety and depression. I work full time for a company for roughly now about 1.5+ years, everything was doing great until about winter last year maybe a bit later. being constantly harassed by one of the older workers. abused, yelled at all that fun stuff. I can take most of that no problem but damn sometimes its just hard. Everyone in the work place saw this happened often. the owner, other co-workers sometimes customers.. The boss says that they would take care of it but nothing ever came of this. This would get worse and worse until recently he has had to take some time off due to personal reasons however prior to that this person messaged me a sick joke about him causing the death of a customers pet. This threw me into a huuuuge state of panic attacks that spans over 2-3 days. I called the office and asked the boss if this was true but she had not gotten a call from the co worker so she has no idea what I'm talking about. I know maybe other people would brush this off as a sick joke but who would joke about that??
I brought this to the attention of my boss informing them of how I felt and all the proper things i should do, whilst I am expecting a proper adult conversation I was met with absolute and unprofessionalism. I was yelled at by the owner of the business belittling my mental health saying everyone has anxiety and such with me being forced to say this in front of my other co-worker while they both beat me down on how I felt, I honestly felt so destroyed.
The week after (now) I have gotten a severe fever the kind where all you can do is lay in bed and sleep and sleep and sleep and you are barely able to walk one step to drink or bathroom etc. This happened on Saturday and i was destroyed, today (Monday) i took off work as I was so sick and I walk to work so taking my best interest I took the day off to rest and sleep. I texted my boss the night before as I was truly hoping I could sleep it off over the weekend but unfortunately it didn't happen. As i knew i would not be able to wake up in time to call her as I have been out could from how sick I am the moment I was awake on Sunday I sent my boss a text apologising that I have to take Monday off and that I am sorry i am texting and not calling as it was late and that I would call her as soon as I wake up the next day knowing it would most likely be after 9am. I did just that I got no replies to my text and just rested up. I got a call back later that afternoon thankfully I was awake to take it however I was met with upsetting tones, judgemental responses. I was very sick and was about to call 000 for help cause It was a bit scary and I've never had a fever this bad not even when I had covid but I could not afford the ambulance bill. so I just slept and drank fluids
This has made me realise that I am not seen as a human. I thought this would be otherwise at a small family owned business but no and honestly I don't know what to do. I work full time, I don't drive, I have a lot of experience however finding the time to be able to go have an interview makes things very difficult especially if I put my current job on my resume. I do not wish for my current job to know I'm looking for work as I am scared it will make things worse.
I would just quit and go on government care and study or something however I live alone, I have bills to pay and these would no cover this and I'm about to be tied into another year or lease. I just don't know what to do and everything seems so hard right now. I don't have family I can go back to so that I can pick myself back up I am alone.
Sorry If alot of this is so jumbled I wrote this while absolutely bawling my eyes out please just skim over any grammar mistakes.
This job has put me back on my meds which I was so proud that I was able to work myself off but now I cannot function without them