I am so done with this job. Here's some context this is gonna be a bit long, because I have a lot on my mind and I have no one else to talk to about this right now. I am gonna try and keep this vague as possible since atm I need this job.
Took this job as a place holder for another position. Basically they needed me to fill this role, while we waited for the person in the role I want, to leave the position. So I could replace them. I told them I would put my freelance work aside and focus on filling this role and learning the ins and outs of the company, as long as further down the road I can pick it up again. Once I have a feel of how things run. That was a lie. The role I got is labor intensive, lots of record keeping, inventory, maintenance, etc. I set up studios, and then tear them down. I implemented how I run my freelance work into their inventory system, and streamlined everything, so that when I train my replacement they know how it works. Bad Idea.
I am the first one at the gig, and the last to leave. I also get paid the least out of all of the workers we work with. I work 12-14 hour shifts almost always with no breaks, while my “team” gets all the credit. My “team” also works maybe two-four hours total per shift, while walking away with more money, and all the tips we earn. I do not get tips since I am the one who sets up and has the “easiest” on site role. (I edit the files on site as they come in, send them out after editing, while also maintaining all the gear I set up and make sure it stays working) Its a “part time position”( I work 60 hour weeks, then have a week or two off) I feel like a bad infomercial because guess what? theres more!
The role I wanted and what they “signed me on for”, has been outsourced and filled, by someone who doesn't even know how to work the equipment. Or have any relative experience in this industry (I have 5+ Years) and guess what they want me to train them, since I know the equipment, and have experience in the industry. For no added pay to my payroll. I spoke with my boss about this and how it feels like a slap in the face. They said that I run this role perfectly and that the new hire has a better attitude for the role. Its still my position further on down the road though, and that a promotion in my role is coming. I just have to have faith in their word and the company.
After that slap in the face. I started picking up my freelance work again. Just networking, revamping my website/portfolio. Reaching out to old clients and booking some gigs. I scheduled a conversation with my boss, because I told them I would let them know when I start picking up my own work again. I expected my boss to be fine with this, as I am in a part time position, and my freelance work is the role I don't have. (the reason I want this role so badly is it is a salaried position, as well as it covers all of the grunt work I hate doing with my freelance work. It also pays a lot more than I charge.)
The conversation was not pretty. They want me to cancel all of the gigs I have booked. That I am not allowed to do my freelance work, as it is “stealing business” and that even though we do not have the same clientele, it is under cutting their business model. ( I was doing this before I worked with them) They also do not want me want me doing a specific genre of work(which was my fucking main source of income) and that if I go through with these gigs, I am terminated from the company. (which I actually need this job, since I have none of my old clients, health insurance, as well as we are approaching dead season for what I specialize in.) they also said that I have two options
1.) I can stay with “the best company of all time” and trust them that I will reach the role that I want, and that good things are coming my way.
or
2.) I can go out on my own, and be a competitor, as they dominate the market.
so then I said “you are my main employer and I am barely making ends meet. My rent is increasing as well as inflation. Are you going to fill, my supplemental income?” To which they responded with the title of my post.
It really is a good job in some aspects, they have flown me across the world, I have decent benefits, and I have gotten to see some places I feel like I never would have been able to afford. As well as meet and hang out with some of my idols. I have learned so much about the work that I do, especially at the professional level.
I also cannot burn this company, as they are an agency, and are connected with almost everyone I want to work with/used to work with.
It's like they dangle my dream job in front of my face, just to abuse me.
They effectively cut me out as a competitor, while strangling me, and forcing me to become reliant on them.
I feel trapped in a box, and the worst part is. I put myself in there.
What do I even do?