As the title states I'm 24 weeks along, first time mom. I've hated every single job I've ever had. With a burning passion.. except maybe 1. My dream has always been to be a stay at home mom. I knew this because I enjoy cleaning up our home, prepping meals, cooking, and dreamed about taking care of my kids all day.
I've been working since I was 16 years old, I'm now 22. I've been diagnosed with depression since I was 17, anxiety & Borderline personality disorder as well as OCD since I was 17. I've been in therapy all these years and it has helped, both CBT and DBT. But I just got put on my husband's insurance and can't afford the 50$ copay per session every week. So now I only go 2 times a month. And it's over the phone during my lunch break. I'm also on antidepressants but idk my life without them so idk if they're even doing anything. Every job ive had has been really shitty, I fucked my chances of college because I went twice and dropped out, now financial aid said they wouldn't help me anymore. I worked at Wendy's, a janitorial job, a bartender, waitress, receptionist, house painter, animal hospital, and insurance billing department. I've hated all of them. For various reasons. I enjoyed being a house painter but I can't do that now since I'm pregnant. Idk what to do anymore. I just started a new job which is the billing dept. A month ago and it sucks. Management sucks, the people suck, hell I'm not even good at my job. My husband and I make a whole 70k a year combined. I just can't wait for my son to be born so I can stay at home doing what I love, but what I fear is that my husband will say ill actually have to go back to work after maternity leave. But he only makes 18$/hr at a warehouse. Idk man.
🫠help.